HOT NIGERIAN VIXENS

I have never really understood the reason some ladies resort to prostitution and hang around corners, filthy bars, crazy clubs or other places at night looking for men that will patronize their veejayjay. When I'm driving at night past some areas around the Island or the mainland, I see beautiful girls strolling on the road with skirts that look like panties and they will stare at a car passing by with hopeful eyes. Some bold ones will whistle at the driver or push out their chests as soon as the headlights shine on them, the way a trader would sing about what she's selling as soon as she sees a prospective buyer.

I love this picture, can you see the sexy lady running away from the cam? lmao!

What amazes me these days are the crop of girls who are into prostitution, when I sometimes try to get a glimpse of their faces, I see young, beautiful and well dressed ladies very similar to those you see in the afternoon walking in broad daylight. Those kind of girls that you may even admire their physical shape, cleanliness, swag or manner of speech when you come in contact with them. It made me begin to wonder how anybody especially men who are hoping to settle down can now differentiate between a prostitute and a decent working-class lady.

I remember when we were growing up, some of us saw those aunties in our neighbourhood that people would refer to as "Ashewo". One thing I remember quite well was that they never looked tidy, they always were unkempt, loud, dirty, brash and everything a man's wife isn't. They present themselves as typical women of the night, they do not go out of their ways to look tidy, they just bare enough body parts to make a man's manhood respond. So these ladies were usually scantily clad, heavily made-up, smokers, drinkers, with bad hair and very bad manners.

How much? Road side.

Today, our ladies of the night seem to have stepped up. They are now finer than the average Nigerian girl who is searching for a boyfriend, fiancee or husband to make a woman out of her. Thanks to the various spas springing up in Lagos, the prostitutes in Lagos now look more decent than hardworking chicks out there as most of these prostitutes have the best skin you will ever see. These girls are mostly very light-skinned because their work is at night, they do not expose their skin to the harsh glare of the sun, so they look very radiant when they come out at night. They dress well, they even wear expensive clothing and they carry themselves in a dignified gait. Unlike before when they wore rags, painted their faces and demonstrated by the road side in a loud way.

So a thought occurred to me, if these girls can go an extra mile to look considerably decent even though they sell their bodies for money, why can't they just do it the "right" way. Do not get me wrong. These girls have already signed up for a life of debauchery, anal sex, blow jobs, sado-masochism, the risk of being used for rituals and other horrific things by choosing this particular job, right? They are well aware of the fact that their lives could end any time considering that they deal with total strangers whose intentions may never be known to them until they get into a hotel room together. They know that they can contract vicious venereal diseases as a result of having too many sexual partners and may not have a normal future because of what these diseases does to the reproductive organs. So why do they hawk themselves by the roadside? It's a high risk job, yes, but make millions while you are at it.

Office style

My point is this, guys will always approach an attractive lady when they see one and there are places where ladies can go if they wish to meet men with serious money. Parties, high-class clubs, shows, anywhere but not the road side. Why do prostitution of #2,000 per day? Seriously. Get a legal job, especially one that entails trying to bring clients to invest in your company, sleep with all of them and get your cut out of it, shikena!. That's Legal prostitution, it is way better than the curbside strolling they do at night which is not as lucrative as targeting rich men, climbing the corporate ladder and living a life of luxury all with the power of your body since you are selling it.

I'm sure this isn't what it looks like, hehehe

Some girls go into prostitution for years and have nothing in their account by the time their bodies have responded to gravity, sagging like a balloon filled with water. There's a famous lady in Lagos, she's very endowed and all. People think she's a high class prostitute, calling her all sorts of demeaning names and she does not even mind what anyone thinks of her as she struts her stuff at any opportunity she gets. She flaunts her half-naked body whenever she feels like it and pays no attention to snide comments about her liberties. Today, she owns mansions in Lagos, she has properties in expensive residential areas that those who vilify her all the time cannot dream of acquiring in 20 years. Now, this is what I'm talking about! Even if she's a prostitute, she's building herself with her body! It's not like she's half as attractive as the girls we all see on Lagos roads at night. This particular chick knows her business well and she's already living life like a normal working class lady.

So all those girls trying to be classy on the roadside at night should just quit bothering themselves. Whether you wear Prada, Gucci, Armani or Louis Vuitton, you will only appear as wearing rags as long as you sell yourself short by catwalking on the road for all sorts of men. A wise man once said, anything worth doing at all is worth doing well. Share your thoughts!

NIGERIAN MUSIC INDUSTRY: THE RICH VS THE HOPEFULS

There is something very peculiar about the Nigerian Music Industry that is also very unpleasant. It is very much characterized by the slavery mentality. Our fore-fathers suffered so much that the brainwashing by the white people still affects their generations till this day. The white people made the black people believe that "everything white" is superior, which is why today, everything remotely close to foreign is held supreme. The  Nigerian music industry has unconsciously stipulated certain achievements as the criteria for success and there are even various categories. The cogent one being the criteria of being an imported talent, imported character, imported money, in short, imported everything.

There's a particular category of musicians who are the posh ones and they are usually just returned from foreign states in the world. It seems there's some form of superior perception of those musicians who have been to foreign countries especially if they spent some few years over there. What is most annoying about these artistes is that they do not wish to come to their home country initially but after suffering in a foreign country where they are seen as inferior citizens with no one paying any heed to them, they then decide to come home to the brainwashed slaves who will worship them and whatever they have to offer. Some people believe once you travel abroad, you are automatically a kind of deity. So these musicians come here with affected accents, twisting their tongues and showing mannerisms they adopted from foreign cultures which of course fascinates people and draws the wanted attention.

  

Most of these music artistes that quickly gain the attention and fandom of Nigerians are those whose families are very influential. They are usually very handsome or beautiful, very attractive people in general as we all know that money has its ways of making anyone gorgeous. The fact is that in any society especially one like the Nigerian society, many people like to associate with the rich as it seems to give them a feeling of belonging to the class they continually strive for. Even those who are church rats will continue to laud the music of the rich children instead of their comrades from Ajegunle. They savour news about the rich musicians who have just acquired the same ride as Kanye West, Jay Z or Snoop Dogg. They are hungry for every single detail about what goes on in the rich musicians' lives and will give them the best unpaid-for publicity in the world "word of mouth" which turns them into immediate celebrities. These rich musicians practically buy the love and attention of thousands because of the idea that they are the La creme de La creme. They hardly need the money of those who buy their albums as music is a hobby for them not the job that feeds them.

When they hold concerts, the event is decorated with dignitaries who are friends with their affluent parents or Arab money and this makes more Nigerians wow at these privileges. Some of these rich musicians are hardly talented, they can hardly sing or rap or even have a decent stage presence but because money can buy swag, they are celebrated. Being rich totally obliterates the need for talent and we begin to get used to hearing them screech on our radios just because we want to be associated with class. They are connected to people in radio stations, Alaba market, Deejays, Television stations, international cable channels who act as the pillars behind them and continue to promote their music so much that we do not know when we begin to nod our heads and sing along to their inane music. Once an artiste is from abroad and comes to the Nigerian music scene, he or she is readily given a stamp of approval with no test at all unlike the ones who live their whole lives among us, no, those ones are just ordinary. Most of these rich artistes have signed sweet endorsement deals with big companies in the country and like the vicious cycle, the rich artistes becomes richer

. Nigerian celebrities that fall into this category include:

 

GOLDIE, this is one artiste that's obviously having fun as she seems to play "dress up" instead of music most of the time. She is from a rich home with very educated parents, her costumes are usually imported and she is sometimes called "the Nigerian Lady GaGa".

BANKY W, cocky, dapper and the guy we love to hate. He entered the music industry with a rip off of Rihanna's "Umbrella" and we just embraced him with no originality. He is already building a music empire. Etisalat, Coca-cola and Samsung endorsements. Hmm.

TIWA SAVAGE,  now this lady is very talented, she has paved the way for other female artistes in Nigeria. But many say, her rapid success is due to the fact that she is kind of foreign and also has amazing connections. Pepsi endorsement.

DAVIDO, he just came from nowhere, slept with a college student and blew up like fireworks. His families are very politically connected and he does not need us to buy his album but we all rock his songs all the time! Mtn Endorsement

LYNXX, very attractive guy, looks like a movie action hero, muscle, cute lips, good height. When you see this guy, you can just smell money from afar. Many Nigerian women keep wishing he was theirs. Studied in the US and all. Pepsi endorsement.  These are the foremost music artistes that are known to music-loving Nigerians and there are many more. They are not all talentless but people tend to accept musicians of their status more quickly than they do those "upcoming artistes" who grew up in Nigeria and have struggled to put their names on everyone's lips all to no avail.  However, there is also that category of very rich musicians in Nigeria who passed through our indigenous process to stardom. We all watched as they metamorphosed from "rags to riches", from "Mushin to Mo'hits", from oblivion to stardom. We all saw their journey, their struggles, their participation in talent shows, their victories and how they have achieved international acclaim today. These people are us, we see reflections of our dreams in them, they make us know that even if our parents do not know the President, there is always hope of making our names famous some day. Next post will be all about them. Share your thoughts!

WE LOVE, WE LIVE, WE DIE

When God made man and everything else for man to dominate, God looked around his works and saw that it was all very good. Then he added a bonus when he saw that man was lonely and needed a partner, so God made him a Woman. This is the premise where we all draw the fact that at one point in a man's life, he must settle down and like Adam with Eve, must bear children. So marriage is certified by God, a bond established by God himself for man and woman to procreate from generation to generation.

Today, the sanctity of marriage has been dragged in the mud with cheating, deception, lying, violence, polygamy, polyandry, disease, hatred and ultimately divorce. The most unsavoury part of marriage is the violence that seems to be a recurrent visitor among couples who were once smitten with one another. There has seen many cases this year of man killing wife, man pouring acid on wife, man throwing burning stove on wife, man beating wife to a pulp and so many unpleasant degeneration of loveless marriages. Some even claim to love so much saying it was the magnitude of their affection that made them descend into acts of violence against their partners to show how they felt.

Only a coward raises his hand to hit someone who cannot hit back as hard

This made me think of that period when a woman meets a man for the first time, it may be at the bar, at the club, in the church, at a friend's place, at a wedding (which is very common towards courtship) or any other social place. Usually, the man wishes to court the woman, she may refuse his advances and be staunch about it or she may initially put up a front until the man eventually thaws her out then she falls in love. At this point, there are two things involved when the woman agrees to be with a man, it is either the woman has signed up for a life of happiness or the end of her life as it may be.

I saw an episode of the popular series Criminal Minds recently and towards the end of the episode, I was sobbing like a sponge because I totally get the point in that particularly moving episode. Just one phrase made by a victim on death row in the movie made me see things from a new perspective. It was about a male serial killer who was married to a woman called Sarah Jean. Sarah Jean met this man who looked every inch normal to her and she fell in love with him despite the warnings from her mother as well as those who cared about her. As a result of her relationship with this man, Sarah Jean and her mother had a major falling out because the man alienated her from those she loved. After their marriage and one son, the husband who was a carpenter began to act funny. He had a workshop at the back of the house where he would work overnight and warned Sarah Jean not to disturb him or try to come in. He began to do horrific things in the workshop and no one knew what he was up to right in the middle of a residential area.

Apparently, the husband would go out to kidnap women and bring them into his workshop, his target were usually young ladies in their twenties, he would sadistically rape them then decapitate, mangle, eviscerate and do all sorts of inhumane things to them. Being into wood work, he would then bury these ladies in the buildings he was contracted to construct, no one would ever find the victims' remains. Now Sarah Jean suspected what her husband was doing but she could never confront him as he was violent towards her as well, so she turned a blind eye.

However, Sarah Jean began to fear for her son's life, he was like two years old at the time. Just like she feared, her husband asked her one day to get rid of their two year old son so it would be just the two of them in their own world. So Sarah Jean took care of the child just like her husband asked her to as her total loyalty was with him. Eventually, the police began to trace the continuous murder of young ladies and finally nabbed the husband. When they could not find the couples' son, Sarah Jean confessed that she had murdered her two year old son. The news of their atrocities reached the media and the whole world went into a frenzy calling for the couples' head. They were branded as pure evil people. After their arrest, police dug all over their house and found bodies of so many ladies. The couples were both sent to death row to face execution.

When it was some few days to their execution, the husband was all smiles and taunting the prison warden that the police did not find all the bodies he buried and he would continue his love affair and killing spree in heaven with Sarah Jean when they are both executed hours apart that day. It was a particular FBI agent that began to spend time with Sarah Jean during the investigation and noticed that she was soft-spoken, kind, obedient and subservient which led him to finding out that Sarah Jean never killed the son! She did like Moses' mother in the Bible, placed the very much alive son in a woven basket and put the basket on a river. When they traced adoption processes where the river led to, they found out that a very wealthy couple desperately looking for a child had adopted the boy from an orphanage that found him floating on the river. The boy who was now 17 years old just won a scholarship as a genius instrumentalist and was doing very well in life, oblivious of who his birth parents were. Sarah Jean protected her son from her mistake of a husband, giving him a normal life far from the clutches and stigma of a serial killer parent.

The FBI agent wanted to save Sarah Jean's life by calling the Governor of the State for a stay of execution because they had traced the son. But as the prison warden began to walk Sarah Jean to the electric chair, she begged the agent not to contact her son, to let her die with her husband who they had already electrocuted at the time. She said the son knew nothing about his parents but contacting him would bring the trauma of the fact that his father was a serial killer and that would make him a victim of her husband as well.

The FBI agent was devastated that the lady had suffered for nothing for this long, spending 15 years on death row and said to her "Sarah Jean, please let me save your life". Sarah Jean then replied in that phrase that I would never forget, she said "My life ended the day I met Jacob" Jacob was her husband. That phrase shook me up. She was later executed but she died smiling.

How many ladies today are still saying "I do" to a man not knowing they are signing their death warrants or torture cards? How many women have died from the violence metted against them by their husbands? How many women have been disfigured by a man who slept by their side every night? It makes one wonder, were these people ever in love? Did they go on dates, hold hands, looked into one another's eyes while professing their undying love?

We all remember that Nigerian Banker, Titi Arowolo, whose husband stabbed her multiple times and was found with her dead body in their home. I read the autopsy report recently and my whole body reverberated with disgust because the Doctor found 74 stab wounds on Titi's body. Why would a man stab his wife not once, not twice but 74 times?!!!! What could she possibly have done to die such a horrible death at the hands of the man who swore to love her for better or worse? I began to think, someone could have warned her, she must have seen the signs, she must have had a way out but decided to stay, so her marriage became the end of her life.

On a lighter note, there are some women out there, who have been lucky to meet their Prince Charming, their Knight in shining armour, their best friends, their soul mates. That man who changes their lives in a positive way, from rags to riches, from indecent to virtuous, from unfaithful to committed, from a tramp to a princess, from a destitute to a Queen, from a girl to a woman and will remain with them faithfully forever. I sincerely hope that all men will become the protector of their women as God instructed them, not the destroyer of the gift God has given to them and may strangers forever not become our partners for life. Share your thoughts! Thank you.

PERSONALITY VS SEXUALITY

In our formative years, we all had something we wanted so bad, some of us got our desires, while some of us still hope till today for that one thing or got over it. Most of these things we wished for was because we wanted to fit in among our friends, we did not want to be that one person who does not have the things, features or attributes that made people feel special. When we fall into the category of those who get the things they want out of life at all times, these occurrences shape us just like the category of hardly ever fulfilling our heart desires.

What I have found out is that people's personalities are nurtured by the circumstances that surrounded them while they were growing up. Studying some of my friends, I began to realise that most of them were products of their environment and situations that occur frequently in their lives. Their attitude towards life has been informed by certain things that happened to them in the past and left indelible imprints in their memories. These attitudes are also very much connected to what they look like physically and this is the definition of who they are.

Very good looking

The opposite of the other picture

Most of my guy friends who are not very attractive happen to be very intelligent. You may not agree with me but I'm sure most of the guys who were outstanding students back in school were those who were not high-up in the looks department. So the unattractive guy begins to look for other means to perfect himself other than his physical appearance. He must have found out while growing up that he never got party parcels easily at birthday parties because the Lady sharing the gifts frowned at him when he pointed out that he had not received one. When people were to choose partners to play with, he would most likely be the last person chosen or paired up. While most of his peers had already sampled willing girls in the neighbourhood, he was part of the category who the girls only saw as minions of the guys they slept with and eventually when this guy gets lucky, his friends had to negotiate on his behalf.

This situation results to two extremities, it is either the young man descends into depression, becomes hateful of others or choose to constantly strive for that one thing that will eventually make him special and stand out among his peers. The unattractive guys I know have compelling personalities, you would always love their companies because of their beautiful minds and with time, you begin to see beyond the physical as you begin to listen to their minds. They are usually more caring, more attentive, conscientious, usually because they do not wish to hurt people as they know what it feels like to hurt. Some of them are geeks who prefer to evolve some day by developing their minds.

Then we have the very attractive guy who has received everything in life on a platter of gold. While he was a child, those ladies sharing gifts at parties would look for him to hand him his personal parcel or even go to his house to drop it if he had left before time. He was coddled by teachers, parents and most especially the girls around him right from he began to have wet dreams. He did not have to hustle hard for important things in life because a pleasant face was always interesting to look at and people would always give him things easily just to get a chance to see him again or have him around them. As a result of this, he has not been given a chance to develop himself as he sees no need to. He may become shallow, indifferent, lazy, vain and very dull. Academically, he is usually average and if he happens to have a good or expensive education, then we are all in trouble. Depending on the kind of crowd he mixes with, he thinks girls are toys because he gets their attention even before he opens his mouth. He believes he deserves everything and his desires are his rights. Most of them are players and slackers.

*Coughs*

Interesting

Do not get me wrong, there are some people who fall in varied categories, like those who are unattractive and equally dull or very attractive with good brains. Some geeks will even break a girl's heart the way the player will never think of, everything is circumstantial.

However, whether attractive or not, you can never go wrong with a guy with a beautiful mind. You learn from them every time they speak, how they act, how they relate with others, how they respond to those they care about and what they make their priorities in life. As for me, I'll always choose personality over sexuality, good character over the best stud in bed, content over appearance because like a very wise man once said, looks will fade but character endures the longest.. Share your thoughts please!

NEW DAD, GAY DAD

There is a previous post about Jessica Simpson's Dad, Joe Simpson on this blog who discovered all of a sudden that he was gay despite the odd fact that he had been married to his wife for 34 years! Developments are that he already has a lover which would have been the main reason his wife served him the divorce papers. Joe Simpson found himself a 21 year old male model to replace his wife and the life he had as a family man. He is 55 years old and that's how long it took him to realize that he likes men more than women.
After Joe signed the divorce papers, he then decided to recreate his physical looks and fully embrace his feminine side. He dyed his hair platinum blonde and has began to dress in very soft colours similar to what women or gay people wear. It should have been obvious though that Joe was gay when he strongly supported his daughter Jessica's decision to get a boob job when she was very young. It's still very appalling that Joe Simpson willingly left his life as a family man to start living an entirely different lifestyle. Well, whatever makes him happy!

Joe Simpson as the normal Dad

Joe Simpson's new gay look

The male model, Joe's new lover. See his "come and do" eyes. Gorgeous huh?

UGLY THEN, BEAUTIFUL TODAY

Many girls in Nigeria do not look the way they used to look five years ago, back in Secondary school or before they found the knowledge of make-up and skin transformation. Most of them have changed drastically, they may be posher, tusher and more classy than what they used to look like before and like one of my friends will say, they begin to act like they do not take a dump at all.You would see a beautiful mature lady today and if someone tells you it was the same girl that used to run around your neighbourhood covered with dirt and wearing only a flimsy pant to play in the mud, you would hardly believe they are the same person you are looking at today. We girls are perfect at redefining ourselves, we would rebrand ourselves so many times that the only original thing about us would be our names. We do not change our names because we wish to travel out some day and if our documents do not tally at the Visa Office, it is back to Lagos Island.

Lil Kim, before she went under the knife and after she attained artificial beauty

A comedian once said that girls are the greatest liars as they would paint their faces with make-up to look flawless, wear high heels to seem taller, wear long hair weaves to look exotic, fix acrylic nails to look well-groomed and will never reveal their true self. Another person said women only reveal their true self after you have married them, then they discard the heels, the weaves, the nails and other artificial features, then the man begins to go through the wedding album to check if he is still married to the same person he proposed to. Some men may have woken up in the middle of the night screaming because they thought they saw another guy sleeping next to them, only to find out it was only the wife not wearing makeup. Some guys never saw what their wives looked like early in the morning until they became their wives.

I read a crazy story recently about a man who sued his wife for giving birth to an ugly child. At first, I was bemused and angry at the man because it is not the wife but God who molds a child so why would the man hold the wife responsible for what the child looked like? But after reading the story further, I began to laugh. The man's point was that he was very sure the child was not his because he was handsome and he also married a beautiful woman which means they can never produce anything hideous. This theory is not actually true, there are some parents who are downright gorgeous but give birth to children who may not initially be pleasant to look at but grow up to be absolutely breathtaking while there are also some parents who are no oil painting but give birth to children who win beauty contests! If you do not believe me, google Beyonce's father.

The man whose wife gave birth to an ugly child sued his wife for $120,000 and claimed that the baby can never be from his sperm. However, after some investigations, it was confirmed that the baby was his BUT there was finally a resolution of what seemed to be the problem. Apparently, the wife had undergone several plastic surgery before she met the man! Meaning, the wife was actually an ugly person who had altered her original looks before she met her husband, but when she delivered a child, her baby inherited her formal looks and strong genes! Odeshi! The baby came out looking exactly like his "original mother" before she went under the knife so plastic surgeons can sculpt her into an artificial beauty. Long story cut short, the husband won the case o! The court awarded the husband the sum of $120,000 because according to the law, the husband was defrauded by the wife.

This is the lady, can you believe the transformation?!! I would sue her too!

So all those girls who bleach their skins, who get boob jobs, nose jobs, face lifts, hips enlargement, butt injections and other body enhancement procedures, your children will open your yansh in public when they eventually come into the world. If only we can just love ourselves the way God created us but we always want more, what we forget is that even the Most Beautiful Woman in the World is not the most beautiful woman. So some very beautiful girls already getting married today may give birth to children who look like the Landlord and will make the husband very suspicious, na God catch all those men who too like fine girls only. lmao!

AFTER A BAD BREAKUP

We have all gone through various break-ups in our lives as it is sometimes necessary for us to learn the hard way and avoid mistakes in the future. Some break-ups can not even be called one because we were just fooling around while some are very serious because we invested a lot in it or it went on for years or our ex-es had been introduced to all our friends or we were truly madly deeply in love. Some break-ups are downright nasty, well, most break-ups are nasty but there are some couples who try to separate amicably. Memories do not fade quickly but will continue to linger like a wicked mother-in-law.

Oh boy!

When you break-up with someone you truly love, you occasionally get mood swings most especially when someone mentions your ex-es name, your heart constantly palpitates at a rate that becomes unbearable, you walk around as if you are gliding, you keep holding back tears, you keep hating on other couples when you sight them and when you watch a movie where scenes remind you of the one you love, that's when you cry in the sanctity of your home where no one can see your tears.

We may not know this but crying actually helps during a break-up but it could also lead to severe depression, you can cry but do not dwell in your sorrows. When you cry, it is a form of catharsis, a release that can help alleviate the pain you are feeling. Some people, like me, who see themselves as the strong ones in relationships usually do not want to cry after a break-up and this only aggravates the heart ache. When we eventually cry even as we are doing shakara and not picking up the calls of the Ex, we find out that we gradually become better. If some things are not meant to be, there is just so much crying you can do.

Break-ups can change us. They can make us stronger or weaker. Some people go through a break-up and end up loosening up their guard. They begin to think, maybe I was too uptight in that previous relationship so it did not work out so now I'll let go of all my principles. Some people who were naturally happy-go-lucky suddenly become sadistic and mean in their new relationship after they have gone through a very bad breakup. Others who may be previously trusting will become unnecessarily suspicious to the detriment of any budding relationship. Some who bring people into their close circles may now become very cagey and you can never get close to their heart once it has been broken.

We all handle break-ups in different ways. A particular person on my mind today is Katy Perry, the American recording artist who sang the famous songs "Fireworks" and "Wide Awake". Although, what she went through was a more complicated divorce from the shaggy British Russel Brand, she does not seem to be handling her personal life the way she would have, had she not been married to the sleazebag. After her divorce, the person Katy Perry was connected to is the big-mouthed and puerile John Mayer, the guy who sang "Your body is a wonderland". My point here is some people handle break-ups by settling for less in their next relationship. You should not enter into a new relationship when you are still hurting, no matter how much comfort someone may seem to offer, most of the time, they will be taking advantage of your fragile emotions. You can test the waters but do not fully commit, give yourself some time so you would be making wrong decisions all the time. You are like a vulnerable child at this point.

Katy Perry with John Mayer, she's happy.....for now

So about Katy Perry's choice, John Mayer. This guy is known for one thing, having a loud mouth and being a dirt bag. You know one of those guys who are sleek talkers, have charming personalities but can never keep their mouths shut especially about who they have slept with. Outside that, John Mayer has dated a string of female celebrities, mostly after they have just broken up with their partners. So this guy is the perfect kind of guy that men hate for dating their Ex-es and women hate because he would reveal personal things about them to the press. John Mayer has dated Jennifer Aniston, Taylor Swift, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Cameron Diaz (when she split from Justin Timberlake), Rashida Jones, Kim Kardashian (he's really crazy, I tell ya) Jessica Simpson, MIiey Cyrus (child abuse), Minka Kelly, tired of typing all their names, finger fatigue. Surely, Katy Perry knows about his frivolous pasts and her friends must have expressed their disapproval of John Mayer but because right now, she needs someone in her very busy life, she is actually settling for less. People around her said Katy Perry does not trust the guy one bit but yet, she sticks with him, how sad is that?

Break-ups should not break us, it should make us stronger. Being strong will make us bump into our Ex-es and greet them like long lost friends which they truly are as most of our Ex-es are our close friends before they became our lovers. Our Ex-es should see us and say "wow, you really have upgraded" not "damn, I did a number on him, look at his life, heya". My personal maxim is to make them cringe with jealousy as soon as they sight me with my new man. Every new relationship after a confirmed break-up whether bad or amicable should be a step up not a degeneration. Life goes on, so cheer up!!!

JAMES BOND'S SKYFALL

Daniel Craig, the reigning Bond man

There will be a Pre-release of the newest James Bond movie called SkyFall on November 1st 2012 at Ozone Cinemas. Tickets are already on sale so you have to beat the crowd to it. There will be many freebies, food, drinks and other refreshment by the Charvet Group product, KissMix. The movie promises to be exciting as people who heard about it have started buying tickets.

The James Bond Franchise with Daniel Craig started with Casino Royale, the second installment was Quantum of Solace and now the freshest of them is SkyFall. For those of you who love Adele, the Grammy Award winning singer, she is also featured on the soundtrack of the movie, so this is a total package! See you there!

HAS TU-FACE SCORED AGAIN?

Annie Macaulay, TuFace's significant other

Annie Macaulay, the one who finally got TuFace Idibia among stiff competition, the one who got the cake icing and who won the heart of Nigeria's popular crooner may be pregnant again. A new photo of her showed a very suspicious bump under her gown and it may be a new creation from all-fertile TuFace about to walk among us again. I'm not very surprised that she may have a bun in the oven as she and TuFace are newly-weds so they must have been at it like rabid dogs. BUT for TuFace to have scored again? I just believe TuFace has been oblivious to a particular calling that may further improve his career. He should start a sperm bank. Seriously, do you people know how many women are looking for a child out there? Instead of these women to keep sleeping with babalawo, their randy pastors or ingest different concoction, they would choose wisely and sign up for TuFace's seed. I think they will get more from this, a famous child, a handsome or beautiful baby and this is more guaranteed as their promiscuous pastors and babalawos hardly deliver but TuFace's sperm is like 007, it dodges all contraceptives. Just kidding. If Annie is pregnant again, congrats to the couple and don't you just love that TuFace's new song Ihe Neme? Tight!

KAREN IGHO

This Nigerian Lady used to be a source of amusement for me as the first time I ever saw her name in the media, it was because she was one of the few ladies in Nigeria to have done a boob augmentation. I thought she was very silly and spoilt, how many girls in Nigeria do you see everyday with flat chest? Plenty! I saw her as stupid too when I found out the cost of the boob job, it was a whooping #1million. For someone who is occasionally prudent, I was properly pissed off.

I wonder if her butt is real too, I would really like to know.

It was recently I came upon an article that delved into Karen's background and I began to understand where she was coming from. You see, most of us are very quick to judge when we are looking in from outside but when we take time to get to know someone, you begin to see that there is a method to their madness. Karen has been through a lot. She has been through what most Nigerian girls see just a fraction of and use as an excuse to date their grandfathers who may end up using them for rituals. Karen has been through domestic abuse in a previous marriage, she was a runaway, she was once a stripper and has done so many colourful things to survive.

The beauty of this lady is the fact that she was able to drag herself out of all the filth and make a name for herself today. She defiled all odds and made herself a celebrity to those who would have spat in her face in her previous life. I may not admire her methods but I do admire her spirit.

Recent news say she has just had her computer hacked and there may be sensitive pictures to be released to the public. I say, let them bring it, what have we not seen? It will help boost her already amplified image. It will even help me find out if her backside is real because we keep arguing that she is all plastic. Most girls say so because Karen has a close-to-perfect shape. Big boobs, tiny waist and shoot-out butt. It is the butt I have a problem with as it reminds me of this particular cartoon character. So Hackers, hark unto my voice and hack out those pictures already!

JESSICA SIMPSON'S DAD IS GAY!!!

Jessica Simpson (m) with her parents, Joe & Tina Simpson

Yesterday, we heard some news from the house of Jessica Simpson, the American recording artist, fashion designer and reality television star. Her mother Tina Simpson is filing for a divorce from her husband, Joe Simpson and their representatives have stressed that there was no third party involved in making this decision. However, today, after it has been said that they were no scandals of an affair at all, it has been reported that Jessica Simpson's father has confessed that he swings for the other party. How can a man spend over 30 years of marriage with a woman, become a father, walk his daughters down the aisle and suddenly find out that he has been entering the wrong hole all his life? It makes you wonder how many married men are suffering from whatever Joe Simpson has. He must have been living in an emotional prison all his life then. Is it possible for a man to share a life with a woman this long and find out that he is gay? Please share your thoughts, thanks!  

VIAGRA MALARIA

Sex is supposed to be consensual. Consensual means it involves more than one person who agree to do the act, usually a male and a female. Although, in the modern world, the coitus between a male and a female is not the only kind of sex that exists, there is male and male, male and animal, animal and female, male and object, female and object, oh yes, we live in a crazy world.

The kind of sex I'm familiar with is the conventional sex, which is between a man and a woman. Sex is what these two genders should mutually enjoy. However, it has been said that most women have to ride a long "journey" before they reach orgasm as something called the "G-spot" in women's vaginas is very hard to find and most men who are lucky to find it have a mischievous curve on their equipment, lol. So, this is why we have cases of "one minute man", when a man reaches his final destination and the woman is just about to put the key in the ignition meaning she has not even started the car yet. Some people say men enjoy sex more because when they ejaculate, it shows a sign of satisfaction, absolute orgasm and gratification. Others say women enjoy it more especially without condom, hmmm, I think everyone enjoys this one. We all enjoy those things that will get us into serious trouble.

She's definitely faking it, isn't she?

So it takes a lot to satisfy some women in bed as you have to work some women up, kiss them, do serious foreplay, caress, stroke and even perform sleight of hand before they can reach sexual pinnacle. I've heard cases of some men throwing themselves on their partners and going straight for the honeypot, well, I can assure you that women do not like that. This is why some women find certain men boring in bed as there is no performance at all, it is in the foreplay aside from the main sexual ride that you show how creative you can be and how wild your imagination can get. But then again, foreplay should not always be the man's job but how can the women take over when you guys start everything all the time?

Many women have confessed that they have not experienced orgasm and a large percentage of this women are those who are sexually experienced, mostly married women. These women have to live with having sex like it is a boring routine and they just lie there thinking "just get it over with". This brings me to my topic of the day. Is the world itself sexist? Is the world misogynist? If not, why would there be a recreational sexual drug specially created to enhance men's performance in bed and there has not been a drug that can either assist women to reach orgasm like men or at least a drug that helps men to locate the G-spot before they ejaculate?!

The drug called Viagra is designed to be ingested by men in order to make hot blood rush into their organs so they can demonstrate like wild animals in bed. But sex was not created to be enjoyed by the men folk alone, there should be a female viagra so that two can play! How can a guy be feeling like a god in bed, making the woman think she is a bore and sometimes even with all the drug use, the man does not even hit the G-spot after all! Pscchew! This is so unfair! They say men need Viagra because of erectile dysfunction, well, then women should have a drug for orgasm misplacement!

An outcry against Viagra now is that it is a great contributor to the dissolution of many marriages. This is because the use of viagra is rampant among the elderly men. Think about it, say Daddy is 66 years old and Mummy is 52, I do not think their ages should mean the end of their sex lives. Whatever it is they have been doing, let them continue to do it. But because Daddy has found the miracle of viagra and Mummy does not have the stamina to withstand the incessant horniness of Daddy which is the effect of viagra, Daddy goes out to look for a younger peperempe! How many of us have had to watch Daddies leave their wives at home to go and gallivant about town in the arms of school girls? Ehn? Did you guys hear about Danny Devito's divorce? The dwarfish American Actor divorced his wife, Rhea Perlman of 30 years?  He was married to a woman he has known all his life and after three decades together, he just lost interest? What else could be the cause? The divorce is very viagra-ish.  

Hugh Hefner, 86 years old Chief Creative Officer of Playboy Enterprise and Poster boy for Viagra

A guest on the popular Wendy Williams show said that viagra is like the major drug in the elderly people's homes in the U.S these days because it gives the old men invented energy to perform like they did in their heydays. I just think it is wrong, why does anything sexual always favour the men first? We women should be able to relive our youth too when we grow older, a drug should also be created for our sex lives to enable us take on young men for "pleasurization", then everyone will be happy!

Is it not unfair that women do not have anything to resort to? Why should there be a drug that improves men's sexual activities and there has been none for women so far? Do you not think that women should have a sex-enhancing drug too? If V is for viagra and vagina, women should have some sex miracle drugs called "Diagra" or "Piagra" too? . I think we all know what the D and P in Diagra and Piagra stands for.

BOOZE, BOTTLES, BEER

I've never really understood the reason people get so drunk and exhibit unruly behaviour in public. Growing up in a Christian home, I never witnessed the result of drinking to stupor, if there is one credit I give my father, it is the fact that he never came home drunk to slap anybody around. So there was no exposure to the inebriated side of life at all. Some of my friends have said that in their formative years, they had uncles who were drunks, brothers who were winos, fathers who could not have a meal without getting high first and they themselves began to drain the beer bottles right from childhood and through this persistent situations, my friends were all familiar with the alcoholic way of life.

People who are never sober these days have different reasons for finding solace in the arms of beer bottles. Some have said it is to drown their sorrows, some take alcohol to forget pressing issues, some take alcohol as a means of release or escape and weirdly, some have said they get the best inspiration for successful projects while they are completely wasted.

There were so many Do's and Don'ts that surrounded my life while growing up and as these rules helped me to live a sheltered life, they also contributed to the fact that I began to stumble on things I should have known as a teenager only when I became an adult. In our home, Sex was not discussed, it was never touched on, it was seriously avoided and was considered a thing of darkness. Alcohol was non-existent. Smoking was not even an issue, it gave my dear mother serious catarrh just by walking pass any bar.

Can you see where the word "fun" points to?

So finally, I tasted alcohol after gaining emancipation from my parents, (this actually means when I began to suffer to pay rent for myself) which brings me to the nub of today's post. My experience when I was high was that of an out-of-body experience as I saw things from another perspective which is not giving two hoots about so many things that bothered me on a normal day. My inhibitions dropped, there was absolutely no guard at all and my sense of what is right or wrong was very faint. At this point, I would say "yes" to anything but thankfully I was indoors so the "yes-es" I said were not very damaging. Truly, alcohol frees the soul. But we all know better.

Best place to sleep in

 This made me think of girls who go clubbing and get seriously wasted. At this point, they are with total strangers, new acquaintances, admirers, sugar daddies or mostly those kind of crowd who probably do not have their best interests at heart, those who need just one thing from them. In this state, girls who are drunk are very submissive because their right-thinking mind has become warped and they would do things they would not do naturally. I once saw a girl in a famous Lagos Club displaying from the effects of strong alcohol, she was with some guys who had initially approached me to go home with them after showing me some wads of serious cash. This girl jumped on top of the glass table in the club and started dancing, twisting, weaving and before we all knew it, she tripped on spilled drink on the table and could not get up. She had to be dragged off the table by the notorious money-brandishing guys who later took her home or wherever it was they went to "slaughter the chicken". God knows what kind of "KarmaSutra" exercises they will make her perform from that night till the break of dawn.

 I've heard stories of girls who lost their virginities after a night of revelry, not because they chose to but alcohol had repressed the side of their brain that makes them cautious. Some people drink and their true nature comes out, some drink and become wild, some drink and become mean, some drink and it looses their tongue, some drink and will divulge top secrets, some drink and become horny. Alcohol can even change one's original personality, a quiet person can immediately become loud, a shy person can quickly become outspoken and become the source of amusement for their friends.

Recently, I read a story of a young lady who had kept her virginity for 22 years, hoping to remain chaste until marriage but in one night of drunkenness lost it to a classmate on the beach. She said that the classmate was not even someone she was friendly with back at school but imagine this, she will remember the guy for the rest of her life. Maybe there's a girl out there who has forgotten who popped her cherry but there are very few, no one forgets this experience completely.

I like this one, lol

  Some people go to the club to party and after a wild night, they wake up next to a total stranger with no recollection of what has transpired. Here's the side of alcohol I may like a little, the amnesia. What I experienced after drinking was a total lack of coherence and cognitive memory which is very relieving as the remembrance of drunken behaviour can be very embarrassing. I'm sure there are some people who cannot even remember who they had coitus with on a drunken night. Selective forgetfulness.

Some friends get angry when their friends get zonked out from alcohol especially if it is after one bottle, one glass or two bottles. Different people have different level of tolerance from alcoholic intoxication, apparently those with a higher level of tolerance perceive themselves as superior being. These superior drunks would insult those who are categorized into the "lightheaded" group and call them "party-poopers". They wish to drink with those who are capable of beating them at canceling 100 bottles with no sign of being smashed at all.

Another observation of mine is that the consumption of alcohol is a descent into self-indulgence as the more you take in, the better you "think" you feel. There is also the consequence of bodily harm to consider which is the damaging of the liver as excessive alcohol is very toxic to this liver. People argue that the in-take of alcohol is not so bad but it is the excessive consumption of it that has adverse effects. I also know this is such a controversial post as many fun-loving girls will not agree with me but will still go out to party hard and drink even harder. Girls, let's be careful how we chug brews especially if you are one of those girls who always act like they can handle their alcohol even though they are such light weights because there will always be scavengers out there who will do unexpected things to you. One mistake in one night can change our entire lives forever and this applies to both sexes. Thank you!