WHEN YOU HATE YOURSELF

If you were asked if the person in the picture above is a man or a woman, what would your answer be? Well, if your answer was man, then you are wrong. When God was creating this person, he made this person someone who would be able to get pregnant, would have children, would breastfeed them and raise them as a family. This person was born a beautiful woman.

This is Chaz Bono, the daughter of Cher, the singer of the hit single "Do You Believe?". Cher was in the 2011 movie 'Burlesque' with Christina Aguilera in case you do not know who she is, she played the owner of the club where they all performed in the movie.

Chaz Bono was born Chastity Bono in 1969 and after coming out to her mother that she was a lesbian, she later decided as an adult to transform herself into a man because of reasons only best known to her. Chaz underwent surgery to become a man, her breasts were cut off, she was given hormone shots to grow beards and she changed her name legally and socially from Chastity to Chaz but she did not alter her female organs. Why will you enter a world as one gender and leave it as another gender?

There are so many people i know out there who hate themselves because of the way they look, but everybody looks the way they do for a good reason. People complain everytime "i wish i was taller", "if only my nose was not so flat", if only i had straight legs",  "i wish i had asian eyes", "i would love myself more if my ass was bigger"!

God's creations are never imperfect, he knows what he is doing everytime he is molding a human being but because the humans come to the world where everything has been altered, we do not see ourselves as visions of perfection anymore. The day you become taller could be the day you die, if you had a long nose maybe you will have asthma too, if your ass were bigger maybe it would affect your leg, we do not ever think of these things.

I remember when i was much younger, i would pray to God to make me taller like most of my friends, i realised later that i wanted this quality so i could feel superior. It wasnt until i focused more on my other qualities that i eventually stood out without any effort whatsoever.

Someone once told me that if I were taller, I would be vain, inconsiderate, dumb, cruel, reckless, rude, albeit successful but i would hate myself even when others envied me. It was later I found out myself that if I was taller, I would have become a model because I like dressing up, all those awards I received from various institutions for academic distinction would never have come my way. I would never have known for a model, beauty fades but as an intelligent person, your knowledge is forever nourished as knowledge never dies.

There are so many people that are far away from being the person they were created to be because of their focus on the wrong qualities. I know so many fair-skinned ladies who are high class prostitutes because they chose to revel in the attention of men rather than swot for exams to bag a respectable job in the future. They think because men are usually attracted to fair-skinned ladies, it is their excuse to live life as goddesses, doing what they like and getting everything they want. I know so many beautiful girls who didnt do the needful things at the right time, claiming models, class, flashy lifestyles while they youthfulness eroded away.

When you love yourself, you would find out those qualities about yourself that makes you satisfied with everything you have, those qualities will make you content because it is when you accommodate envy in your life that you begin to hate yourself. No matter how jealous or envious you are of someone else, you will never have what they have if it is not meant to be, you will only end up hating yourself for never getting them.

Chaz Bono became a man because she obviously didnt like herself very much. She was a lesbian who had a girlfriend and supposedly she was the masculine presence in the relationship. It is important to note that some few weeks after the transgender operation, Chaz's girlfriend of many years broke up with her/him, excuse me. When you alter one thing about yourself, it could be that single thing you altered that endears everybody to you, that single thing that brings you favour among people, that single thing that sets you apart from the crowd and makes you a special being.

Do not allow common human flaws such as jealousy, envy, hatred, covetousness, greed and other unnecessary emotions be the definition of your life and your person. If you hate anything about yourself, begin to love that one single thing about you, turn your curse into a blessing. Concentrate on what people admire about you and more importantly that which you admire about yourself the most.

As Chastity Bono --- A beautiful Woman

DATING THE MARRIED

Any lady who is involved with a married man is always seen as an indecent person, a lowlife, a home wrecker and other unpleasant brands. I always ask who the real culprit is in the liaison, is it the single ladies who enjoy the attention and accompanying monetary gifts from the promiscuous men or is it the married men who are going through middle-age crisis?. In the course of my work, I have had numerous unsavoury and definitely forgettable experiences with older men who have been married for decades and more but yet still look for something extra outside of their matrimonial homes. Sometimes, it can be very infuriating because some of them are not exactly attractive because of their old age and a misspent lifestyle as they confuse their present days with their heydays.

There was once a time when it was generally seen that only men are prone to cheat on their wives but these days, wives do cheat on their husbands as well. It seems that as we evolve as human beings, our moral fibre becomes weakened as we continue to imbibe degenerate side of the western culture. Now, married people go into the institution of marriage only to spend a few months wishing they are single again, mostly for selfish reasons. To sate these selfish wants, married people begin to look for single people, thereby undermining the sanctity of marriage. From my perspective, i can only write from my experiences with men, the day a married woman walks up to me and says or do anything amoral, this blog will give you all the lurid details.

There are different kinds of "single-married" relationships. There are some men who act as if they are still very young even though they have already started a family. They act like they are your actual boyfriends and woe betides you when they see you with your real boyfriend or any of your guy friends. This is because most people don’t understand the ideals surrounding a perfect marital life and most young men dabble into marriages prematurely, then after some few months, they become bored. Most men go into marriages because they feel it is a natural obligation or their parents coerced them into finding a wife, or their friends are already married so they feel the impending pressure to join the club. They find someone they think they can spend forever with, they do not wait to find out if they are truly compatible or just convenient but they go ahead with a wedding and keep the lady at home to bear the title of Mrs. Wife. Some few months later, they are already out searching again, this time not for a life partner but for someone who would give them ephemeral pleasure thereby causing void in their matrimonial homes.

I hobnob with a lot of men and women, as I happen to be a good listener, I have learnt of the cruel and unusual dynamics of various relationships. Young ladies readily bask in the euphoria of accepting material gifts that comes along with dating a married man and the married men also know that this is a serious requirement to get the ladies’ attention. Some ladies even dump their current boyfriends to focus on the well-to-do married men, which is a grave mistake because with the boyfriend, there is a likely hope for the future but a married man will never leave his wife for miserable needy young girls. When the married men are still around, boyfriends who earn merger salaries are taken for granted and no matter what they do, they are always considered a poor pest at the time.

Some ladies who are in relationships with married men often fall in love with them and this is outrightly stupid because no matter what sweet nonsense the man tells you, he will never leave his wife for silly you, he will always consider you as second-best, he is only with you for the sex and when he is done with you, he will toss you like a used tampon. Some single-married relationships can be awesome because as sad as it is, you may find your soul mate in a man who already has a family, oh yes, it happens. He will understand you in a way nobody else does, cater to you in such wholesome ways, give you overwhelming attention and other things, that you become so used to his presence in your life. Despite this fact, I am yet to be a witness to a successful relationship that came about from a man cheating on his wife, leaving his wife and getting married again to the single lady he's involved with. The saying that “what goes around comes around” is the gospel truth. If that married man eventually leaves his wife for you, when you think you are happily married to him, he will find another younger woman, prettier and smarter than you because when that man chose you over his wife, it only shows that he's a greedy bastard. In case you have not noticed, there are so many ladies in different shapes, colours, sizes, heights and every other dimension, they are just there for the men to take their pick as long as there is mutual benefit.

All my girlfriends have been involved with married men, i do not know a single woman who has not been bugged by a married man either in her neighbourhood, at work, or on the road. It’s like there is no escaping it as this men are everywhere. Even those ladies who say they cannot be in any kind of romance with married men still accommodate their advances once in a while just to get the monetary gains that present themselves. When my girlfriends come to stay with me, we take a stroll in the night and count how many cars that stops by the curbside for us asking if they can drop us anywhere. We do this for the fun of it and trust me it is quite enlightening especially when we have nothing to do, these men are like scavengers. The first thing we notice when their cars stop is the glint of their wedding rings, their paunch and other tell-tale signs. Some wise married men have resolved to discard their rings so that their operations can go on smoothly.

I have also come in cognisance of the case of married women who find themselves in romantic liaisons with married men. Now, this is the lowest of the lowest stooping order because the adultery is two ways and so demoralising. How do these people get home to face their spouses after sexual sessions in the motel or hotel? What about their consciences? The truth is that nothing remotely good comes out of this kind of trysts but only heartbreaks, serious consequences, diseases, infections, unwanted pregnancy, abortion and a host of other things that brings us closer to hell. The days when ladies are considered as the more faithful ones are long dead, in fact, they now trigger most forms of infidelity. Most women are fond of finding solace in the arms of other men when their husbands are not attentive without considering the aftermath of such indulgence. There are cases of married women who have been unfaithful, getting pregnant in the process and facing the dilemma of who the real father of their baby is. Why in the world should these things happen? When the husband finds out that the child is not his, that woman has sentenced her child to eternal punishment because no one will fully accept that child.


The single ladies who get knocked up by married men have no option but to recourse to evacuation as the excruciating process of abortion is now made so simple and short like intercourse itself. The married men will never allow you to keep the baby because they do not want to lose their wives who stood by them through thick and thin. The single ladies as well do not have the financial means to support a child with no father because trust me, there will be no child support. No married man wants extra wahala because the reason they were with you in the first place is because they are running away from responsibilities. These hitched men have names for everything they are looking for outside marriage. They refer to the ladies as releases, outlets, a means and the common name we all know, the other woman. Some married men even lay down rules like "you cannot call me at this hour because I’ll be at home", "we cannot be seen together in these areas", "you cannot come to my office at this particular time", "you cannot talk to your friends about me" and most ladies tend to conform because of the attachment they have developed. I don’t know how some ladies live with the fact that they will always come second in the relationships they are involved in, there's a man out there for every woman. If one man has already taken a vow with another woman, go and look for your own man.
99.9% of married men cheat and marriage is no longer upheld as a holy institution. In fact, cheating is not considered as appalling any longer because when the wives find out, you know what they say? "I don’t care as long as he always comes back to me". Jesus! Anyway, I will end this piece by admonishing anyone in a passionate affair with a married man, it will not bring good tidings. I’m very sure there are so many single guys out there who can cater to your needs and be there for you 24/7 and give you all the loving and sexing you need. Though they are usually irresponsible, do not blame them, responsibility is almost a talent these days but unlike dating married men, dating single guys hurts no one.