AFTER A BAD BREAKUP

We have all gone through various break-ups in our lives as it is sometimes necessary for us to learn the hard way and avoid mistakes in the future. Some break-ups can not even be called one because we were just fooling around while some are very serious because we invested a lot in it or it went on for years or our ex-es had been introduced to all our friends or we were truly madly deeply in love. Some break-ups are downright nasty, well, most break-ups are nasty but there are some couples who try to separate amicably. Memories do not fade quickly but will continue to linger like a wicked mother-in-law.

Oh boy!

When you break-up with someone you truly love, you occasionally get mood swings most especially when someone mentions your ex-es name, your heart constantly palpitates at a rate that becomes unbearable, you walk around as if you are gliding, you keep holding back tears, you keep hating on other couples when you sight them and when you watch a movie where scenes remind you of the one you love, that's when you cry in the sanctity of your home where no one can see your tears.

We may not know this but crying actually helps during a break-up but it could also lead to severe depression, you can cry but do not dwell in your sorrows. When you cry, it is a form of catharsis, a release that can help alleviate the pain you are feeling. Some people, like me, who see themselves as the strong ones in relationships usually do not want to cry after a break-up and this only aggravates the heart ache. When we eventually cry even as we are doing shakara and not picking up the calls of the Ex, we find out that we gradually become better. If some things are not meant to be, there is just so much crying you can do.

Break-ups can change us. They can make us stronger or weaker. Some people go through a break-up and end up loosening up their guard. They begin to think, maybe I was too uptight in that previous relationship so it did not work out so now I'll let go of all my principles. Some people who were naturally happy-go-lucky suddenly become sadistic and mean in their new relationship after they have gone through a very bad breakup. Others who may be previously trusting will become unnecessarily suspicious to the detriment of any budding relationship. Some who bring people into their close circles may now become very cagey and you can never get close to their heart once it has been broken.

We all handle break-ups in different ways. A particular person on my mind today is Katy Perry, the American recording artist who sang the famous songs "Fireworks" and "Wide Awake". Although, what she went through was a more complicated divorce from the shaggy British Russel Brand, she does not seem to be handling her personal life the way she would have, had she not been married to the sleazebag. After her divorce, the person Katy Perry was connected to is the big-mouthed and puerile John Mayer, the guy who sang "Your body is a wonderland". My point here is some people handle break-ups by settling for less in their next relationship. You should not enter into a new relationship when you are still hurting, no matter how much comfort someone may seem to offer, most of the time, they will be taking advantage of your fragile emotions. You can test the waters but do not fully commit, give yourself some time so you would be making wrong decisions all the time. You are like a vulnerable child at this point.

Katy Perry with John Mayer, she's happy.....for now

So about Katy Perry's choice, John Mayer. This guy is known for one thing, having a loud mouth and being a dirt bag. You know one of those guys who are sleek talkers, have charming personalities but can never keep their mouths shut especially about who they have slept with. Outside that, John Mayer has dated a string of female celebrities, mostly after they have just broken up with their partners. So this guy is the perfect kind of guy that men hate for dating their Ex-es and women hate because he would reveal personal things about them to the press. John Mayer has dated Jennifer Aniston, Taylor Swift, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Cameron Diaz (when she split from Justin Timberlake), Rashida Jones, Kim Kardashian (he's really crazy, I tell ya) Jessica Simpson, MIiey Cyrus (child abuse), Minka Kelly, tired of typing all their names, finger fatigue. Surely, Katy Perry knows about his frivolous pasts and her friends must have expressed their disapproval of John Mayer but because right now, she needs someone in her very busy life, she is actually settling for less. People around her said Katy Perry does not trust the guy one bit but yet, she sticks with him, how sad is that?

Break-ups should not break us, it should make us stronger. Being strong will make us bump into our Ex-es and greet them like long lost friends which they truly are as most of our Ex-es are our close friends before they became our lovers. Our Ex-es should see us and say "wow, you really have upgraded" not "damn, I did a number on him, look at his life, heya". My personal maxim is to make them cringe with jealousy as soon as they sight me with my new man. Every new relationship after a confirmed break-up whether bad or amicable should be a step up not a degeneration. Life goes on, so cheer up!!!