UGLY THEN, BEAUTIFUL TODAY

Many girls in Nigeria do not look the way they used to look five years ago, back in Secondary school or before they found the knowledge of make-up and skin transformation. Most of them have changed drastically, they may be posher, tusher and more classy than what they used to look like before and like one of my friends will say, they begin to act like they do not take a dump at all.You would see a beautiful mature lady today and if someone tells you it was the same girl that used to run around your neighbourhood covered with dirt and wearing only a flimsy pant to play in the mud, you would hardly believe they are the same person you are looking at today. We girls are perfect at redefining ourselves, we would rebrand ourselves so many times that the only original thing about us would be our names. We do not change our names because we wish to travel out some day and if our documents do not tally at the Visa Office, it is back to Lagos Island.

Lil Kim, before she went under the knife and after she attained artificial beauty

A comedian once said that girls are the greatest liars as they would paint their faces with make-up to look flawless, wear high heels to seem taller, wear long hair weaves to look exotic, fix acrylic nails to look well-groomed and will never reveal their true self. Another person said women only reveal their true self after you have married them, then they discard the heels, the weaves, the nails and other artificial features, then the man begins to go through the wedding album to check if he is still married to the same person he proposed to. Some men may have woken up in the middle of the night screaming because they thought they saw another guy sleeping next to them, only to find out it was only the wife not wearing makeup. Some guys never saw what their wives looked like early in the morning until they became their wives.

I read a crazy story recently about a man who sued his wife for giving birth to an ugly child. At first, I was bemused and angry at the man because it is not the wife but God who molds a child so why would the man hold the wife responsible for what the child looked like? But after reading the story further, I began to laugh. The man's point was that he was very sure the child was not his because he was handsome and he also married a beautiful woman which means they can never produce anything hideous. This theory is not actually true, there are some parents who are downright gorgeous but give birth to children who may not initially be pleasant to look at but grow up to be absolutely breathtaking while there are also some parents who are no oil painting but give birth to children who win beauty contests! If you do not believe me, google Beyonce's father.

The man whose wife gave birth to an ugly child sued his wife for $120,000 and claimed that the baby can never be from his sperm. However, after some investigations, it was confirmed that the baby was his BUT there was finally a resolution of what seemed to be the problem. Apparently, the wife had undergone several plastic surgery before she met the man! Meaning, the wife was actually an ugly person who had altered her original looks before she met her husband, but when she delivered a child, her baby inherited her formal looks and strong genes! Odeshi! The baby came out looking exactly like his "original mother" before she went under the knife so plastic surgeons can sculpt her into an artificial beauty. Long story cut short, the husband won the case o! The court awarded the husband the sum of $120,000 because according to the law, the husband was defrauded by the wife.

This is the lady, can you believe the transformation?!! I would sue her too!

So all those girls who bleach their skins, who get boob jobs, nose jobs, face lifts, hips enlargement, butt injections and other body enhancement procedures, your children will open your yansh in public when they eventually come into the world. If only we can just love ourselves the way God created us but we always want more, what we forget is that even the Most Beautiful Woman in the World is not the most beautiful woman. So some very beautiful girls already getting married today may give birth to children who look like the Landlord and will make the husband very suspicious, na God catch all those men who too like fine girls only. lmao!