Remember that day you went on a date or a visit and it was supposed to be just a movie, dinner, talk, window shopping, dance and other trivial stuffs but suddenly the last thing you remember is the zipping down and the zipping up. Ya'all know what i'm talking about, right? Many people have been in situations that they come out of saying "what did i just do?", "what was i thinking?", "God, i feel like killing myself", "O.M.G. I should have controlled myself more!". In most cases, however, you walked into the scene level-headed, thinking you've got everything under control, but eventually, you come out of it all flummoxed especially after doing something stupidly impulsive. The most drastic and shameful case would be having coitus with someone you didnt plan to have it with or someone who was just too darn sexy for you to resist that your self control turned into self expression. This case is where this phrase was coined "when your heart says no but your body says YES!". I'm pretty certain we have all found ourselves in fantastic places where our bodies helplessly say, scream and shout, YES! YES! YES!. Do you ever ask yourself why this happens? Well, let me educate you, lol. As if.
Have you ever heard of PHEROMONE? If you look it up in the Oxford Dictionary, it is ascribed to animal attraction. Fortunately or unfortunately, this kind of hormone is also secreted by humans. It is a sex enhancing secretion, odourless, unseen, undetectable but strong. No matter how much self control you have got, as long as you have blood pumping in your veins, my friends, ye shall loseth yourself. My experience with pheromone, hmmm.....let's see....no comments! Pheromone is that which makes you get down when you are supposed to stay up. It makes you lose yourself and sometimes your dignity, control, principles, inhibitions and values. It however, encourages your lust, fantasies, fetishes, desires and moments of indulgence. What i hate about pheromone is that it does not include memory loss. After it inspires you to commit those acts that makes you wish for a time machine later, it keeps refreshing your memory. You will remember every ounce of the kissing, touching, licking, caressing, moaning, intensity and yes "the poking". Ladies, pheromone is what drives you crazy when you are making out with a guy and you throw all caution to the wind. In some cases, when the guy is moving too slow, it is what makes you want to slap him real hard and scream "just get to it already, damn it!". As for the guys, do you even need pheromone to get your freak on with anybody, anytime, anyday? With or without pheromone, you are always ready for action! This orgiastic (from orgy) pheromone has caused so many emotional complications and regrets, most especially because it comes as an overwhelming rush and then subsides without warning. Note: it only subsides after the climax of your act. It's not like taking marijuana, indian hemp, cocain, LSD or any other hallucinogenics, pheromone is a natural high.
If you have read my previous articles, you should know by now that it's never wholesome without allusions to friends' or personal experiences, so here goes: A good friend of mine met this guy in the course of work. Man meets woman, so there was the normal chemistry, the stolen glances, secret smiles, notice me, discovering of mutual interests, gentle touches, which all led to the midnight calls and the incessant "when will i see you again?". Finally, she agreed to go to his crib (oh sorry, his slaughter house). This was the first time they were both going to be in an enclosed space or room with no other person present, so one would expect some degree of decency and shyness from both parties. Whatever. After listening to the first line of a song within a fraction of a minute, they started tearing at each other and oh YES! they got down to it, they did the deed! Some hours later, she had to leave (no, he did not ask her to stay overnight, boohoohoo!). She later felt insecure and remorseful but kept reassuring herself that this could be the spark of a beautiful passionate relationship.
Dear readers, my beautiful girlfriend is still waiting for his call, flash, text or better yet his "please call me". This is like four months after the event but she is too ashamed to confront him, Psheeeew! Girlfriend aint like me, lol. It's quite saddening because she still talks about the guy till date as she says "he had everything i ever wanted in a guy, the right height, the eloquence, lovely taste in music, movies, he even has his own car, apartment and is he endowed or what?". Correct me if I am wrong but if not for the excessive explosion of the notorious pheromone, that lascivious ingrate of a guy will still be calling her up with libidinous enthusiasm. Why do you guys always do that? Why do you chase after someone so fervently for so long, only to get them and dump them? Is the thrill only in the chase? Why are you so frigging fickle? Anyway that's another stress for another write-up. Seriously cant wait.
More so, this does not mean you can blame pheromone for every single deplorable engagement you get yourself caught up in. These are the things i loathe about pheromone; the flesh takes over the head and the heart, only the guys benefit from it, it does not lead to or improve relationships, it is not existent in marriage (just check out the rate of adultery and divorce), it makes us lose potential husbands or wives, it makes you insane for a while and most importantly, it does not cause memory loss, you have to live with the memory, usually a guilty one, for a long period of time. On the other hand, Scientists have gathered from researches that pheromone has a good side to it. You know what they say that all disadvantages have advantages and vice versa. It has been discovered that pheromone has the benefits of making one feel high and excited, it is also a form of release and purge from stress or pressure, it brings a feeling of refreshment, it increases fertility in women for reproduction (well, for obvious reasons) then the one i think is most reasonable, it makes headaches go away. Oh yes! When you have headache, especially those of you with seasonal migraines, just find someone to kiss because the pheromone released from the act of kissing makes the headache disappear. Poof!. Have i tried it? Hmmm....another write up for another day lol. Which reminds me of something. I once told a male colleague that pheromone from kissing clears away headaches, so whenever i said i've got an headache the next thing he says is "can i help you out?" with a coy smile. Guys!
So peeps, quit asking yourselves what led you to do "IT", it's quite simple, it's the flesh, will and pheromone. If you finish reading, please help me confirm if kissing truly take headaches go away. The stress in Lagos is just too much and i usually get this persistent banging and clanging in my head from the strenuous nature of everyday study and work. Just dont do it with someone with chronic halitosis, i'm sure that will only turn the headache into stomachache or another ailment needing minor surgery. I'm anticipating your results!
No comments:
Post a Comment