I will try as much as possible not to be too opinionated in writing this piece because naturally, most guys will be quick to change the "men" for "women" in reprisal to the above topic. Mulling over my experiences with men, one question that readily comes to mind is “What exactly is wrong with you all?” and it is directed at every Homo sapiens with overflowing testosterone. I will not limit this scribble to personal experiences but will make it vast by alluding to other people’s love lives as well. Having listened to the bawling of my numerous lady friends and worse still, my enemies, the compulsion to elicit a response from guys to the aforementioned question is hereby vehemently expressed.
These days, it seems like a savoury relationship between a man and a woman is no longer feasible and will be almost eternally unachievable. I’ve seen promising relationships fall into flakes just because people no longer fully understand the true meaning of love and take one another for granted. I have often times resolve to remain single forever and tell people who ask me for advice that maybe we are all better off without love but this is annoyingly impossible. Most guys find you more alluring when you are warding them off, they are like flies, and they always get the wrong signals. Moreover, what would this world be without men? Much to my chagrin, i do not want to find out.
Touching on my previous question, it’s really pathetic to be a witness to how low most of our single guys can stoop to in the modern definition of love. I’ve been appalled so many times by the extensive repulsing experiences of this age and the shallow men of today. Not that we ladies don’t have foibles but I believe that men are now more vulgar than women when it comes to the sacred feeling of love. Simply put, Love is now Gold dust.
A friend of mine has given up the prospect of ever finding true love because of the harrowing knowledge that she has of men’s ways. She has decided to be fickle and has adopted the motto, “enjoy it while it lasts” after so many failed relationships. In my case, I can’t adopt her misguided maxim because of who I am, which I love by the way. Her love life (if it can be called that anymore) can be quite amusing, as she seems happy lying to and manipulating guys who now swarm around her in hordes. So I wonder if this is what the men of today want, I really hope not. Being in a relationship is harder and more strenuous than the bar exam that it’s no longer something I would advise anyone to dabble into.
If there’s something I abhor, it’s meeting a guy and the first or only thing he does is to relate with me on face value. What I mean is that, naturally, a guy is initially attracted to a woman because of what he sees but the sin here is when he does not want to see any further than the physical. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve lost count of guys I have met who don’t even know me before they start talking about carnal intimacy and I’m not even that easy to talk to. I once met this guy who seemed nice but within a week (actually after a day) was boldly asking where I like to have sex and what styles I liked. I got upset and he told me poker-faced that he was just asking me something natural. It’s funny that guys so often lack gumption, that they use the same inane lingua or slang when they are in a cleft stick. When ladies object to anything lascivious proposed by guys, they use these options; “it’s natural”, “it’s no big deal”, “you are a big girl now”, “come on, let’s just have some fun”, “I thought you were mature” and the list is endless.
It makes you wonder if all the values and ethics of intimacy have been totally expunged from the rule of love. Most guys don’t even want love this days, 85% of our men are only interested in carnal activities. When they are asked why, they say they’ve been heart-broken too many times to ever try loving again while we the female folks say they broke ours, who is really guilty here?
I admit that I’ve had to let go of so many guys I liked just because they failed to see beyond endowments and superficial features. I am however, not fazed though because as they go, so they also come. So many guys are already done with women they should just be getting started with. I really wish most men (you know yourselves) could really take their time to appreciate the ladies beyond our physical outlook and focus more on the innate values. We, the ladies will continue to be hopeful because we know some of you are close to being ideal and some of you can still be salvaged from this century decay. (This article was inspired by a promiscuous lowlife, feel free to render your perspectives).
Your write-up should have been a well thought-out expression but is unfavorably self-mauled by an unfortunate grasp of your male stereotype. I know it's difficult to accept that you, like most Nigerian females have since their pre-adolscent ages been oblivious to the subtle impacts of the types of Mills & Boon, Harlequins and Silhouette novels melded with steady euphoria derived from incongruous romantic TV soaps such that it has subconsciously nurtured in their psyche a mentality carved with what to them is a perfect construct of an ideal relationship falsely reinforced with a pedantic view on an emotion as ephemeral and elusive as LOVE.
ReplyDeleteTo start with, let's try and define LOVE, Love is whatever we all know love ought to be, exceptional affection for that special one, fondness, caring, empaathy etc but love in this part of the world are mostly an emotional disturbance between to unbalance opposite. Secondly, despite little truth about your view, it will be unfair to think that every guys fall into your male stereotypy, no not all of us behave as you have been led to think. Even so, how else and how long do you want guys to conform to an expected way of response. Ladieees, it's the way we are wired, we are attracted by the face value and sometimes can be driven by an ineffable fantasy stimulated by that face value and like I said not all of us stagnate at that level. Some of us seek beyond that, something which is unfortunately bereft of most Nigerian gals. What I am referring to oftentimes get encountered by guys who never bargained for it, only to feel intimidated thus invokes the control-domineering syndromes. Lastly, Nigerian ladies need to at least reduce their imported personality and completely rid off their pretentious life-style otherwise many are still to experience lovelornness, I for one love originality and realness.
Reading this many years later and laughing my pretty behind off
DeleteYour write-up should have been a well thought-out expression but is unfavorably self-mauled by an unfortunate grasp of your male stereotype. I know it's difficult to accept that you, like most Nigerian females have since their pre-adolscent ages been oblivious to the subtle impacts of the types of Mills & Boon, Harlequins and Silhouette novels melded with steady euphoria derived from incongruous romantic TV soaps such that it has subconsciously nurtured in their psyche a mentality carved with what to them is a perfect construct of an ideal relationship falsely reinforced with a pedantic view on an emotion as ephemeral and elusive as LOVE.
ReplyDeleteTo start with, let's try and define LOVE, Love is whatever we all know love ought to be, exceptional affection for that special one, fondness, caring, empaathy etc but love in this part of the world are mostly an emotional disturbance between to unbalance opposite. Secondly, despite little truth about your view, it will be unfair to think that every guys fall into your male stereotypy, no not all of us behave as you have been led to think. Even so, how else and how long do you want guys to conform to an expected way of response. Ladieees, it's the way we are wired, we are attracted by the face value and sometimes can be driven by an ineffable fantasy stimulated by that face value and like I said not all of us stagnate at that level. Some of us seek beyond that, something which is unfortunately bereft of most Nigerian gals. What I am referring to oftentimes get encountered by guys who never bargained for it, only to feel intimidated thus invokes the control-domineering syndromes. Lastly, Nigerian ladies need to at least reduce their imported personality and completely rid off their pretentious life-style otherwise many are still to experience lovelornness, I for one love originality and realness.