NEW DAD, GAY DAD

There is a previous post about Jessica Simpson's Dad, Joe Simpson on this blog who discovered all of a sudden that he was gay despite the odd fact that he had been married to his wife for 34 years! Developments are that he already has a lover which would have been the main reason his wife served him the divorce papers. Joe Simpson found himself a 21 year old male model to replace his wife and the life he had as a family man. He is 55 years old and that's how long it took him to realize that he likes men more than women.
After Joe signed the divorce papers, he then decided to recreate his physical looks and fully embrace his feminine side. He dyed his hair platinum blonde and has began to dress in very soft colours similar to what women or gay people wear. It should have been obvious though that Joe was gay when he strongly supported his daughter Jessica's decision to get a boob job when she was very young. It's still very appalling that Joe Simpson willingly left his life as a family man to start living an entirely different lifestyle. Well, whatever makes him happy!

Joe Simpson as the normal Dad

Joe Simpson's new gay look

The male model, Joe's new lover. See his "come and do" eyes. Gorgeous huh?

UGLY THEN, BEAUTIFUL TODAY

Many girls in Nigeria do not look the way they used to look five years ago, back in Secondary school or before they found the knowledge of make-up and skin transformation. Most of them have changed drastically, they may be posher, tusher and more classy than what they used to look like before and like one of my friends will say, they begin to act like they do not take a dump at all.You would see a beautiful mature lady today and if someone tells you it was the same girl that used to run around your neighbourhood covered with dirt and wearing only a flimsy pant to play in the mud, you would hardly believe they are the same person you are looking at today. We girls are perfect at redefining ourselves, we would rebrand ourselves so many times that the only original thing about us would be our names. We do not change our names because we wish to travel out some day and if our documents do not tally at the Visa Office, it is back to Lagos Island.

Lil Kim, before she went under the knife and after she attained artificial beauty

A comedian once said that girls are the greatest liars as they would paint their faces with make-up to look flawless, wear high heels to seem taller, wear long hair weaves to look exotic, fix acrylic nails to look well-groomed and will never reveal their true self. Another person said women only reveal their true self after you have married them, then they discard the heels, the weaves, the nails and other artificial features, then the man begins to go through the wedding album to check if he is still married to the same person he proposed to. Some men may have woken up in the middle of the night screaming because they thought they saw another guy sleeping next to them, only to find out it was only the wife not wearing makeup. Some guys never saw what their wives looked like early in the morning until they became their wives.

I read a crazy story recently about a man who sued his wife for giving birth to an ugly child. At first, I was bemused and angry at the man because it is not the wife but God who molds a child so why would the man hold the wife responsible for what the child looked like? But after reading the story further, I began to laugh. The man's point was that he was very sure the child was not his because he was handsome and he also married a beautiful woman which means they can never produce anything hideous. This theory is not actually true, there are some parents who are downright gorgeous but give birth to children who may not initially be pleasant to look at but grow up to be absolutely breathtaking while there are also some parents who are no oil painting but give birth to children who win beauty contests! If you do not believe me, google Beyonce's father.

The man whose wife gave birth to an ugly child sued his wife for $120,000 and claimed that the baby can never be from his sperm. However, after some investigations, it was confirmed that the baby was his BUT there was finally a resolution of what seemed to be the problem. Apparently, the wife had undergone several plastic surgery before she met the man! Meaning, the wife was actually an ugly person who had altered her original looks before she met her husband, but when she delivered a child, her baby inherited her formal looks and strong genes! Odeshi! The baby came out looking exactly like his "original mother" before she went under the knife so plastic surgeons can sculpt her into an artificial beauty. Long story cut short, the husband won the case o! The court awarded the husband the sum of $120,000 because according to the law, the husband was defrauded by the wife.

This is the lady, can you believe the transformation?!! I would sue her too!

So all those girls who bleach their skins, who get boob jobs, nose jobs, face lifts, hips enlargement, butt injections and other body enhancement procedures, your children will open your yansh in public when they eventually come into the world. If only we can just love ourselves the way God created us but we always want more, what we forget is that even the Most Beautiful Woman in the World is not the most beautiful woman. So some very beautiful girls already getting married today may give birth to children who look like the Landlord and will make the husband very suspicious, na God catch all those men who too like fine girls only. lmao!

AFTER A BAD BREAKUP

We have all gone through various break-ups in our lives as it is sometimes necessary for us to learn the hard way and avoid mistakes in the future. Some break-ups can not even be called one because we were just fooling around while some are very serious because we invested a lot in it or it went on for years or our ex-es had been introduced to all our friends or we were truly madly deeply in love. Some break-ups are downright nasty, well, most break-ups are nasty but there are some couples who try to separate amicably. Memories do not fade quickly but will continue to linger like a wicked mother-in-law.

Oh boy!

When you break-up with someone you truly love, you occasionally get mood swings most especially when someone mentions your ex-es name, your heart constantly palpitates at a rate that becomes unbearable, you walk around as if you are gliding, you keep holding back tears, you keep hating on other couples when you sight them and when you watch a movie where scenes remind you of the one you love, that's when you cry in the sanctity of your home where no one can see your tears.

We may not know this but crying actually helps during a break-up but it could also lead to severe depression, you can cry but do not dwell in your sorrows. When you cry, it is a form of catharsis, a release that can help alleviate the pain you are feeling. Some people, like me, who see themselves as the strong ones in relationships usually do not want to cry after a break-up and this only aggravates the heart ache. When we eventually cry even as we are doing shakara and not picking up the calls of the Ex, we find out that we gradually become better. If some things are not meant to be, there is just so much crying you can do.

Break-ups can change us. They can make us stronger or weaker. Some people go through a break-up and end up loosening up their guard. They begin to think, maybe I was too uptight in that previous relationship so it did not work out so now I'll let go of all my principles. Some people who were naturally happy-go-lucky suddenly become sadistic and mean in their new relationship after they have gone through a very bad breakup. Others who may be previously trusting will become unnecessarily suspicious to the detriment of any budding relationship. Some who bring people into their close circles may now become very cagey and you can never get close to their heart once it has been broken.

We all handle break-ups in different ways. A particular person on my mind today is Katy Perry, the American recording artist who sang the famous songs "Fireworks" and "Wide Awake". Although, what she went through was a more complicated divorce from the shaggy British Russel Brand, she does not seem to be handling her personal life the way she would have, had she not been married to the sleazebag. After her divorce, the person Katy Perry was connected to is the big-mouthed and puerile John Mayer, the guy who sang "Your body is a wonderland". My point here is some people handle break-ups by settling for less in their next relationship. You should not enter into a new relationship when you are still hurting, no matter how much comfort someone may seem to offer, most of the time, they will be taking advantage of your fragile emotions. You can test the waters but do not fully commit, give yourself some time so you would be making wrong decisions all the time. You are like a vulnerable child at this point.

Katy Perry with John Mayer, she's happy.....for now

So about Katy Perry's choice, John Mayer. This guy is known for one thing, having a loud mouth and being a dirt bag. You know one of those guys who are sleek talkers, have charming personalities but can never keep their mouths shut especially about who they have slept with. Outside that, John Mayer has dated a string of female celebrities, mostly after they have just broken up with their partners. So this guy is the perfect kind of guy that men hate for dating their Ex-es and women hate because he would reveal personal things about them to the press. John Mayer has dated Jennifer Aniston, Taylor Swift, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Cameron Diaz (when she split from Justin Timberlake), Rashida Jones, Kim Kardashian (he's really crazy, I tell ya) Jessica Simpson, MIiey Cyrus (child abuse), Minka Kelly, tired of typing all their names, finger fatigue. Surely, Katy Perry knows about his frivolous pasts and her friends must have expressed their disapproval of John Mayer but because right now, she needs someone in her very busy life, she is actually settling for less. People around her said Katy Perry does not trust the guy one bit but yet, she sticks with him, how sad is that?

Break-ups should not break us, it should make us stronger. Being strong will make us bump into our Ex-es and greet them like long lost friends which they truly are as most of our Ex-es are our close friends before they became our lovers. Our Ex-es should see us and say "wow, you really have upgraded" not "damn, I did a number on him, look at his life, heya". My personal maxim is to make them cringe with jealousy as soon as they sight me with my new man. Every new relationship after a confirmed break-up whether bad or amicable should be a step up not a degeneration. Life goes on, so cheer up!!!

JAMES BOND'S SKYFALL

Daniel Craig, the reigning Bond man

There will be a Pre-release of the newest James Bond movie called SkyFall on November 1st 2012 at Ozone Cinemas. Tickets are already on sale so you have to beat the crowd to it. There will be many freebies, food, drinks and other refreshment by the Charvet Group product, KissMix. The movie promises to be exciting as people who heard about it have started buying tickets.

The James Bond Franchise with Daniel Craig started with Casino Royale, the second installment was Quantum of Solace and now the freshest of them is SkyFall. For those of you who love Adele, the Grammy Award winning singer, she is also featured on the soundtrack of the movie, so this is a total package! See you there!

HAS TU-FACE SCORED AGAIN?

Annie Macaulay, TuFace's significant other

Annie Macaulay, the one who finally got TuFace Idibia among stiff competition, the one who got the cake icing and who won the heart of Nigeria's popular crooner may be pregnant again. A new photo of her showed a very suspicious bump under her gown and it may be a new creation from all-fertile TuFace about to walk among us again. I'm not very surprised that she may have a bun in the oven as she and TuFace are newly-weds so they must have been at it like rabid dogs. BUT for TuFace to have scored again? I just believe TuFace has been oblivious to a particular calling that may further improve his career. He should start a sperm bank. Seriously, do you people know how many women are looking for a child out there? Instead of these women to keep sleeping with babalawo, their randy pastors or ingest different concoction, they would choose wisely and sign up for TuFace's seed. I think they will get more from this, a famous child, a handsome or beautiful baby and this is more guaranteed as their promiscuous pastors and babalawos hardly deliver but TuFace's sperm is like 007, it dodges all contraceptives. Just kidding. If Annie is pregnant again, congrats to the couple and don't you just love that TuFace's new song Ihe Neme? Tight!

KAREN IGHO

This Nigerian Lady used to be a source of amusement for me as the first time I ever saw her name in the media, it was because she was one of the few ladies in Nigeria to have done a boob augmentation. I thought she was very silly and spoilt, how many girls in Nigeria do you see everyday with flat chest? Plenty! I saw her as stupid too when I found out the cost of the boob job, it was a whooping #1million. For someone who is occasionally prudent, I was properly pissed off.

I wonder if her butt is real too, I would really like to know.

It was recently I came upon an article that delved into Karen's background and I began to understand where she was coming from. You see, most of us are very quick to judge when we are looking in from outside but when we take time to get to know someone, you begin to see that there is a method to their madness. Karen has been through a lot. She has been through what most Nigerian girls see just a fraction of and use as an excuse to date their grandfathers who may end up using them for rituals. Karen has been through domestic abuse in a previous marriage, she was a runaway, she was once a stripper and has done so many colourful things to survive.

The beauty of this lady is the fact that she was able to drag herself out of all the filth and make a name for herself today. She defiled all odds and made herself a celebrity to those who would have spat in her face in her previous life. I may not admire her methods but I do admire her spirit.

Recent news say she has just had her computer hacked and there may be sensitive pictures to be released to the public. I say, let them bring it, what have we not seen? It will help boost her already amplified image. It will even help me find out if her backside is real because we keep arguing that she is all plastic. Most girls say so because Karen has a close-to-perfect shape. Big boobs, tiny waist and shoot-out butt. It is the butt I have a problem with as it reminds me of this particular cartoon character. So Hackers, hark unto my voice and hack out those pictures already!

JESSICA SIMPSON'S DAD IS GAY!!!

Jessica Simpson (m) with her parents, Joe & Tina Simpson

Yesterday, we heard some news from the house of Jessica Simpson, the American recording artist, fashion designer and reality television star. Her mother Tina Simpson is filing for a divorce from her husband, Joe Simpson and their representatives have stressed that there was no third party involved in making this decision. However, today, after it has been said that they were no scandals of an affair at all, it has been reported that Jessica Simpson's father has confessed that he swings for the other party. How can a man spend over 30 years of marriage with a woman, become a father, walk his daughters down the aisle and suddenly find out that he has been entering the wrong hole all his life? It makes you wonder how many married men are suffering from whatever Joe Simpson has. He must have been living in an emotional prison all his life then. Is it possible for a man to share a life with a woman this long and find out that he is gay? Please share your thoughts, thanks!  

VIAGRA MALARIA

Sex is supposed to be consensual. Consensual means it involves more than one person who agree to do the act, usually a male and a female. Although, in the modern world, the coitus between a male and a female is not the only kind of sex that exists, there is male and male, male and animal, animal and female, male and object, female and object, oh yes, we live in a crazy world.

The kind of sex I'm familiar with is the conventional sex, which is between a man and a woman. Sex is what these two genders should mutually enjoy. However, it has been said that most women have to ride a long "journey" before they reach orgasm as something called the "G-spot" in women's vaginas is very hard to find and most men who are lucky to find it have a mischievous curve on their equipment, lol. So, this is why we have cases of "one minute man", when a man reaches his final destination and the woman is just about to put the key in the ignition meaning she has not even started the car yet. Some people say men enjoy sex more because when they ejaculate, it shows a sign of satisfaction, absolute orgasm and gratification. Others say women enjoy it more especially without condom, hmmm, I think everyone enjoys this one. We all enjoy those things that will get us into serious trouble.

She's definitely faking it, isn't she?

So it takes a lot to satisfy some women in bed as you have to work some women up, kiss them, do serious foreplay, caress, stroke and even perform sleight of hand before they can reach sexual pinnacle. I've heard cases of some men throwing themselves on their partners and going straight for the honeypot, well, I can assure you that women do not like that. This is why some women find certain men boring in bed as there is no performance at all, it is in the foreplay aside from the main sexual ride that you show how creative you can be and how wild your imagination can get. But then again, foreplay should not always be the man's job but how can the women take over when you guys start everything all the time?

Many women have confessed that they have not experienced orgasm and a large percentage of this women are those who are sexually experienced, mostly married women. These women have to live with having sex like it is a boring routine and they just lie there thinking "just get it over with". This brings me to my topic of the day. Is the world itself sexist? Is the world misogynist? If not, why would there be a recreational sexual drug specially created to enhance men's performance in bed and there has not been a drug that can either assist women to reach orgasm like men or at least a drug that helps men to locate the G-spot before they ejaculate?!

The drug called Viagra is designed to be ingested by men in order to make hot blood rush into their organs so they can demonstrate like wild animals in bed. But sex was not created to be enjoyed by the men folk alone, there should be a female viagra so that two can play! How can a guy be feeling like a god in bed, making the woman think she is a bore and sometimes even with all the drug use, the man does not even hit the G-spot after all! Pscchew! This is so unfair! They say men need Viagra because of erectile dysfunction, well, then women should have a drug for orgasm misplacement!

An outcry against Viagra now is that it is a great contributor to the dissolution of many marriages. This is because the use of viagra is rampant among the elderly men. Think about it, say Daddy is 66 years old and Mummy is 52, I do not think their ages should mean the end of their sex lives. Whatever it is they have been doing, let them continue to do it. But because Daddy has found the miracle of viagra and Mummy does not have the stamina to withstand the incessant horniness of Daddy which is the effect of viagra, Daddy goes out to look for a younger peperempe! How many of us have had to watch Daddies leave their wives at home to go and gallivant about town in the arms of school girls? Ehn? Did you guys hear about Danny Devito's divorce? The dwarfish American Actor divorced his wife, Rhea Perlman of 30 years?  He was married to a woman he has known all his life and after three decades together, he just lost interest? What else could be the cause? The divorce is very viagra-ish.  

Hugh Hefner, 86 years old Chief Creative Officer of Playboy Enterprise and Poster boy for Viagra

A guest on the popular Wendy Williams show said that viagra is like the major drug in the elderly people's homes in the U.S these days because it gives the old men invented energy to perform like they did in their heydays. I just think it is wrong, why does anything sexual always favour the men first? We women should be able to relive our youth too when we grow older, a drug should also be created for our sex lives to enable us take on young men for "pleasurization", then everyone will be happy!

Is it not unfair that women do not have anything to resort to? Why should there be a drug that improves men's sexual activities and there has been none for women so far? Do you not think that women should have a sex-enhancing drug too? If V is for viagra and vagina, women should have some sex miracle drugs called "Diagra" or "Piagra" too? . I think we all know what the D and P in Diagra and Piagra stands for.

BOOZE, BOTTLES, BEER

I've never really understood the reason people get so drunk and exhibit unruly behaviour in public. Growing up in a Christian home, I never witnessed the result of drinking to stupor, if there is one credit I give my father, it is the fact that he never came home drunk to slap anybody around. So there was no exposure to the inebriated side of life at all. Some of my friends have said that in their formative years, they had uncles who were drunks, brothers who were winos, fathers who could not have a meal without getting high first and they themselves began to drain the beer bottles right from childhood and through this persistent situations, my friends were all familiar with the alcoholic way of life.

People who are never sober these days have different reasons for finding solace in the arms of beer bottles. Some have said it is to drown their sorrows, some take alcohol to forget pressing issues, some take alcohol as a means of release or escape and weirdly, some have said they get the best inspiration for successful projects while they are completely wasted.

There were so many Do's and Don'ts that surrounded my life while growing up and as these rules helped me to live a sheltered life, they also contributed to the fact that I began to stumble on things I should have known as a teenager only when I became an adult. In our home, Sex was not discussed, it was never touched on, it was seriously avoided and was considered a thing of darkness. Alcohol was non-existent. Smoking was not even an issue, it gave my dear mother serious catarrh just by walking pass any bar.

Can you see where the word "fun" points to?

So finally, I tasted alcohol after gaining emancipation from my parents, (this actually means when I began to suffer to pay rent for myself) which brings me to the nub of today's post. My experience when I was high was that of an out-of-body experience as I saw things from another perspective which is not giving two hoots about so many things that bothered me on a normal day. My inhibitions dropped, there was absolutely no guard at all and my sense of what is right or wrong was very faint. At this point, I would say "yes" to anything but thankfully I was indoors so the "yes-es" I said were not very damaging. Truly, alcohol frees the soul. But we all know better.

Best place to sleep in

 This made me think of girls who go clubbing and get seriously wasted. At this point, they are with total strangers, new acquaintances, admirers, sugar daddies or mostly those kind of crowd who probably do not have their best interests at heart, those who need just one thing from them. In this state, girls who are drunk are very submissive because their right-thinking mind has become warped and they would do things they would not do naturally. I once saw a girl in a famous Lagos Club displaying from the effects of strong alcohol, she was with some guys who had initially approached me to go home with them after showing me some wads of serious cash. This girl jumped on top of the glass table in the club and started dancing, twisting, weaving and before we all knew it, she tripped on spilled drink on the table and could not get up. She had to be dragged off the table by the notorious money-brandishing guys who later took her home or wherever it was they went to "slaughter the chicken". God knows what kind of "KarmaSutra" exercises they will make her perform from that night till the break of dawn.

 I've heard stories of girls who lost their virginities after a night of revelry, not because they chose to but alcohol had repressed the side of their brain that makes them cautious. Some people drink and their true nature comes out, some drink and become wild, some drink and become mean, some drink and it looses their tongue, some drink and will divulge top secrets, some drink and become horny. Alcohol can even change one's original personality, a quiet person can immediately become loud, a shy person can quickly become outspoken and become the source of amusement for their friends.

Recently, I read a story of a young lady who had kept her virginity for 22 years, hoping to remain chaste until marriage but in one night of drunkenness lost it to a classmate on the beach. She said that the classmate was not even someone she was friendly with back at school but imagine this, she will remember the guy for the rest of her life. Maybe there's a girl out there who has forgotten who popped her cherry but there are very few, no one forgets this experience completely.

I like this one, lol

  Some people go to the club to party and after a wild night, they wake up next to a total stranger with no recollection of what has transpired. Here's the side of alcohol I may like a little, the amnesia. What I experienced after drinking was a total lack of coherence and cognitive memory which is very relieving as the remembrance of drunken behaviour can be very embarrassing. I'm sure there are some people who cannot even remember who they had coitus with on a drunken night. Selective forgetfulness.

Some friends get angry when their friends get zonked out from alcohol especially if it is after one bottle, one glass or two bottles. Different people have different level of tolerance from alcoholic intoxication, apparently those with a higher level of tolerance perceive themselves as superior being. These superior drunks would insult those who are categorized into the "lightheaded" group and call them "party-poopers". They wish to drink with those who are capable of beating them at canceling 100 bottles with no sign of being smashed at all.

Another observation of mine is that the consumption of alcohol is a descent into self-indulgence as the more you take in, the better you "think" you feel. There is also the consequence of bodily harm to consider which is the damaging of the liver as excessive alcohol is very toxic to this liver. People argue that the in-take of alcohol is not so bad but it is the excessive consumption of it that has adverse effects. I also know this is such a controversial post as many fun-loving girls will not agree with me but will still go out to party hard and drink even harder. Girls, let's be careful how we chug brews especially if you are one of those girls who always act like they can handle their alcohol even though they are such light weights because there will always be scavengers out there who will do unexpected things to you. One mistake in one night can change our entire lives forever and this applies to both sexes. Thank you!

MY BOOTY, MY DIGNITY

Women have always found ways to make themselves appear more attractive each century, please note that I did not use the word "beautiful" because there is a vast difference between these two adjectives. They can spend all they have to ensure that they are the cynosure of all eyes as soon as they walk into a room and will almost spit on any other person that draws more attention. Even in the fairy tale world, Snow White's step-mother in her old age wanted to compete with the young, nubile and beautiful Snow White at all cost.

Over the years, scientists, Doctors and the pharmaceutical world have taken advantage of this obsession with perfect appearances for which most women yearn. These Doctors would coddle women and enable them in their quest to remain ageless, to defy gravity and battle nature.

We now live in a world where people who are not satisfied with the way they look can quickly find a solution to it. There are so many procedures as there are different body parts and people continue to strive to do God's work on earth but we all know God's works never have repercussions. His works are perfect already, which means that every single person being God's handwork, is already a vision of perfection.

The various procedure human beings have resorted to now include breast augmentation, buttocks injection, botox injection, facelift, chin lift, jaw adjustment, hair transplant, skin lightening injection and endless body parts treatment. The plastic surgeons in the world are yet to find something to do about height enhancement as Lil'Kim, the American Rapper would have done this process already but we hear the Asians are working on this particular procedure. Fingers crossed.

Our celebrities are now famous for having had different kinds of surgical procedures on their body parts and as most of us live vicariously through them, we begin to feel it may be alright to change what is meant to be. Some enhanced body parts of some celebrities are even more popular than the celebrities themselves e.g Pamela Anderson.

What is really appalling about these plastic surgeries and body enhancements is that sometimes, it only makes matters worse. There would be a perfect human being who went under the knife and came out looking like a walking dead who has been programmed to act human. Some people cannot even smile or blink after these procedures because they have extended the limit of stretching their skin and all these will not cease as plastic surgeons will continue to look for gullible lab rats.

The plastic surgery and body enhancement business is now very lucrative that people who are not certified to inject or administer treatment are going underground to set up their own business and make a livelihood. There was a woman in the U.S who was arrested after injecting other women with a particular substance that was later found out to be cement.

Another occurrence was about a woman who lost her limb in the process of enhancing her backside. She had been teased all her life that she had a flat booty and she decided to get her bumbum magnified. Some people can be very hurt when you tease them about their body parts, calling them butter face, planet nose, flat ass, flat face or using some of their flawed features to make them feel bad. This particular woman actually saved up money, as in, she did not spend her money lavishly but amassed it for a period of time just to get the procedure done. If only she had known that would be the end of  living the already normal life she was blessed with. She began to feel intense pain in her butt after she was injected by a so-called doctor and whatever chemical  that was injected into her backside began to solidify and darken her skin. It was too late by the time she decided to do something about it and they had to amputate her legs to save her life.

All men can stare for only 2 seconds or they get pink eye!

This woman who lost her legs lived to narrate her ordeal and maybe convince others who want to get stupid to change their minds but some ladies have not been this "lucky". There was a Nigerian chick who resided in the UK and whose life ambition was to become a video vixen. Can you believe that? A video vixen who would lick her mouth, shake her butt, jiggle her boobs, touch herself and get smooched in music video for the world to see. Guess who her idol or mentor was? Nicki Minaj. So she decided to get a look alike butt exactly like Nicki's. Long story cut short, she is no longer among the living today.

Another thing about women is that we feel we can go ahead with a procedure once we see others that have undergone the treatments. Truth is, what works for Tiffany may not work for Rukayat. The woman who had her legs amputated was unfortunate, so many ladies in the United States and all over the world have had butt injections, some even more than once. Some people even have addictions to butt injections. Some people who heard about her sad situation exclaimed that she should have gone to Brazil for the procedure like it makes any difference.

Talking about women all over the world who now have bigger butts th an their brains, this reminds me of Kanye West and 2Chainz video "Birthday Song". The song was a celebration of women with enhanced body parts and wanting a booty call as a birthday gift, so naturally the music video featured some seriously endowed women. One annoying thing about America is that a man can just sit in his room and order for a particular kind of woman he wishes to shag, like he is ordering an exotic dish. You can find women of different races, heights, sizes and other dimensions in that country. Anyways, there was a particular girl in the Birthday Song video that was very tiny but it was obvious she had patronized the infamous butt injection and one cannot help but notice how big her head was, how small her waist was and her butt appeared to drop to her toes. This was apparently because her body frame was not meant for such a burden!

Some people have argued that plastic surgery is not so unconventional as it may be necessary in certain situations. Yeah, for those who have been deformed by the atrocities of the world, for them to live a normal life not a vain one. Women argue to do liposuction after birth, Mariah Carey was rumored to have done liposuction immediately after her delivery of twins which resulted in her not being immediately released from the hospital. So Sure this was why we saw her revealing her mid-riff in the music video "Triumphant" with Rick Ross and Meek Mill. Imagine other women in Nigeria who have just given birth and happen to watch the superstar's music video, will they not begin to save money for liposuction too?


We are all tempted everyday by what we see, what we hear and the promises of mischievous science but you know what? We cannot wait to see Nicki Minaj at 73 years old. This butt thing is still novel. We have not seen an elderly woman who had her butt titanicized! Not yet For we would like to see how she climbs the staircase with a trailer on her back. Every single time, Nicki Minaj turns her back on television, she raises the blood pressure of some red-blooded men and gives some women major bouts of depression.

We should all accept the fact that looks do not last forever, we are all meant to sag, fade or wither someday. Yes, it is so difficult to accept this but it is just the natural order of life.

A NEW DAY

Hello everyone, I have not had the time to write on this blog for over 9 months. If I were pregnant at the time I started to publish on this blog, I would have put to bed by now, lol. So many things have happened since the last time I put down a piece here but I thank God for the beautiful gift of life.

I want to return to my love of writing down my thoughts, there was a time writing was part and parcel of my being but alas! the pursuit of money in the achievement of a more comfortable life have almost deprived me of my creativity. Another story for another day.

I have to make a commitment to publish at least one piece in one day, may God Almighty help me. It's not easy, especially as I'm not making #600,000 per month on a blog like my blog mentor, Linda Ikeji.



I and the beautiful blogger, Linda Ikeji

Another reason I wanted to start writing again is because I wish to make a cogent point. Although a blog is supposed to be a platform for a writer's opinion, it should not be used to disparage people or to pass judgment on others. It only shows how low one can stoop when you begin to use this medium to hurt people especially those you call your friends. This is why I would use this blog to impact people's lives positively. How I would do this, I have absolutely no idea but I've never backed away from a challenge.

Anyways, this urge to write on my blog was very sudden, quite unexpected and I'm actually at work with so many assignments stacked on me.

I want to make a little comment about the Aluu4. I remember the day I saw the savage video of the merciless killing of such young lives. I was in such a good mood when I was shown the clip and i recall that i began to seethe and vibrate in anger at the brutal end of these young boys all because of some misunderstanding. An image from the video that proved indelible was the part where one of the boys was lying helpless on the ground and a man struck him hard on the nose with a log, then the boy stopped moving after so much blood gushed out of his nose. Even real thieves do not die this kind of death. Four promising lives snuffed out like festive chicken. So sad. May their souls find the peace they could not find on earth in the land beyond.

I have so many things to say but a little part in my mind keeps reminding me that I should be sending out proposals by this time so I can meet this year's target and I keep reminding myself that I have worked hard enough, I cannot die now.

I also remember the death of Cynthia, the young lady who was drugged, raped then murdered by a group of men. Here's another unpleasant news that shook me, most especially because of the means through which she met her murderers, Facebook. When I heard this news, I remembered I had over 4,000 friends on Facebook, some of them I've met, some I ran into by accident, some I have become close friends with, some I have kept in touch with over the years.

I began to wonder if all these my friends were normal people, I recalled that some of them were so persistent about meeting me and I would usually turn them down because naturally, I felt they wanted something I couldn't give to them and the bi-sexual ladies are included here. One thing my mother taught me was that in life, if you seek to get things that are free, things you have not worked for, you may meet your untimely death or end because people even wish to snatch those things you have worked hard for in life. If this young lady had not been chuffed to get on that free airplane ride, she would still be strutting her stuff today. But then, we ladies love free stuffs, myself included, I mean, who doesn't? This, however, is no reason for those guys to descend into beasts and take advantage of the beautiful lady. May her soul rest in peace.

Okay! Enough of the sad news, good things have also happened so far. But why do I strain to remember them? Someone once said bad news travel fast, I think, they also linger more. If any good news comes to mind about the environment, the nation, your lives, this should be the comment for this newly-written post.

May God bless us and keep us all! Amen.