Most of us grew up in neighbourhoods where we formed bonds
with other people in our age bracket who may have gone to school with us, gone
to birthday parties with us, fought with us, competed with us and generally
built our childhood memory together. There’s a saying in Yoruba that children
of the same age can never continue to play together for 20 years. Our childhood
is a very important phase of our lives, it is that period that shapes us along
with the teachings of our parents and also determines how we would relate with
people in the later stages of life.
I ran into one of my childhood friends recently and we
started chatting about our friends, what they were doing now, where they
worked, how many people they banged, what kind of scandals they were involved
in, who they married, if they had babies, if they were outside the country, you
know that kind of talk. Some people had not changed, some people had evolved,
some people we expected to be married were not, those we didn’t even think guys
knew existed were already married with children, those we thought were ugly got
married to the most handsome guys, those we thought had aborted their wombs
away were having babies like gremlins and so many other life ironies.
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| Remember them? They all started from here but have all ended up differently. |
One thing I realized from our discussion was that life
directs you where you determine life to take you especially if you are strong
enough to turn the hands of your destiny. People may tag you a failure, you don’t
have to accept this brand because the way you eventually turn out lies in your
hands.
I thank God Almighty that most of us who spent childhood
together are still alive, at least the ones I kept in touch with, for that
Grace I am forever grateful. It made me think of our clique back then, we were
children of different characters and backgrounds trying to get along with one
another. We all knew whose father was the richest, whose father was average and
whose father was absent. The rich kids were the oppressors, the average kids
were the middle-men, the under-privileged kids were the hustlers and oppressed.
I would like to categorize them.
THE RICH KIDS:
Today, some of them are not in places they would have loved to be in life.
Their family status is not like before when they used to squander money like it
was no man’s business. This may be because they relaxed after graduating from
school thinking the affluence will keep on flowing but forgetting that this
thing called money is a visitor in most people’s homes and you have to treat it
well for it to extend its stay. Some of them still enjoy the benefits of the
connections their families have and have used it to climb up the corporate
ladder, remaining their snobbish self. There’s one of us chicks, this girl is
just so annoying. Her mantra in life is she would never allow her friends to
know her corporate or even domestic connections as she does not want you to
even aspire to her status, she’s that manipulative and competitive. Her defense
mechanism against friends in need is stronger than Fort Knox. She would rather
stop befriending you than introduce you to that manager who can get you a good
job in that oil company. A mutual friend of ours saw her at the airport
recently and even though her car window was wound down, she pretended she couldn’t
see or hear our friend’s greetings, speeding off instead of saying hi. This
girl may be privileged but her life to me, is very sad. She lost her famous boyfriend
of many years because she just doesn’t open up to anyone and is just too damned
selfish. Yes, she’s doing well in her career, but she wants to remain the only
successful person in the world. This is so not possible and what she is actually
doing is deleting friends who would comfort or support her when she needs a
helping hand the most. My point is, she has always been like this since we were
tots, choosing material possessions over companionship and love. This is
obviously affecting her personal life in a very bad way.
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| Oppression of the rich, hehehe |
THE AVERAGE KIDS: I
happen to fall in this category, although there was a time I almost fell to the
category below this very one as I tried to emancipate myself from my father
when I was 16 years old, not legally, just independently. I finished Secondary
school at 15 years, the youngest in my set and I started working almost
immediately after school. Those of us in this category who are hardworking have
good jobs today, we drive cars, we have decent apartments, we have someone who
loves us even if some of us are not married, some just don’t believe marriage
is the ultimate phase in life. Being average, we had to compete with the rich
kids, we were the ones in the middle and that position is never easy. I don’t know
what other people in this category went through to attain their present status
but my own story is another post for another day, my life has been very
eventful. My first attempt to solicit help towards advancing my education through
the help of one of the rich kids’ dad as he was in the field I was about to
study ended up turning into a chronic case of “I scratch your back, you scratch
my back”. Old disgusting man.
THE UNDER-PRIVILEGED
KIDS: This group could not afford to compete with anyone, they were at the
lowest rung of the ladder. They had to be mostly polite to everyone else and
can kiss different kind of butts as they believed it would bring them some sort
of benefits, remember them? There was one of our friends then, she lived with
her single mum who had to cater for four children. The mother was almost
mentally unstable as she would suddenly lash out at people but I thought she
was alright and was just seriously frustrated from all the hard blows life had
dealt her. Whenever this friend finds herself hungry as she had no dad who gave
her money like the rest of us, she would always look for alternative means for
survival. There was a particular trick she used to play on the mallams who sold
all kinds of treats in our neighborhood. She would walk up to their kiosk and
asked if they had a particular product, as the mallams turn their backs to
check their store for what she had asked for, she would quickly pack many
goodies into her pockets, that was breakfast, lunch and dinner. She was caught
red-handed one day and was punished in a very embarrassing manner in front of
her friends. One thing that made her strong though was that she was very
likeable and hardworking. Today, she’s married to a wonderful guy, graduated, finished
her NYSC and working in one of Lagos Government offices. Her story turned out
otherwise, one thing I forgot to mention was her dedication to various
activities in the church.
Facebook will always help us to stay abreast of what’s going
on in our childhood friend’s lives, it is like a photo diary of their marital
life, career life or even runs life, lol. Facebook should be renamed Stalkbook.
If you want to know what’s happening in the lives of people you haven’t heard
from or seen in years, you can find out on facebook as long as they haven’t rebranded
their names from Olakunle to Horlakunley, lol. Why do people do that? It’s so
annoying.
No matter your background in life, you can turn out the way
you want as long as Oluwa is involved. Be a go-getter, there’s nothing wrong
with going after what your heart desires but during your climb up that ladder,
do not step on toes, do not hurt people, do not steal from others, do not usurp
positions and with God, you will surely turn out a success story.
XOXO
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